Joey Tribbiani Quotes
Joey: Since when do you roller blade?
Phoebe: Oh! Since tomorrow. I met this really cute guy in the park and he like, you know, jogs, and blades, and swims, and so, you know, we made a deal that's he's going to teach me all sorts of jock stuff.
Ross: And what are you going to do for him?
Phoebe: I'm going to let him.
Joey: Are you just getting home? It's late.
Rachel: Yeah, I know. I had the best day, though. I got to sit in on a meeting with the reps from Calvin Klein, I told my boss I liked this new line of lingerie, she ordered a ton of it . . . how was your day?
Joey: I discovered I'm able to count all of my teeth using just my tongue.
Phoebe: How was last night with Julio, seorita?
Monica: It was so amazing, he is so sexy, and smart, which makes him even sexier. Oh gosh, I gotta show you this. Last night, we were fooling around and he stops to write a poem.
Joey: Get out! I couldn't stop if a meteor hit me.
Chandler: (Coming off the phone) Okay! We have our stripper, a Miss Crystal Chandelier!
Joey: Well sure, if you name a kid that, what do you expect them to grow up to be?
Joey: And before you know it, she's with him. And you'll be all, "Oh, man!" And he'll be all, "Yes!" And us, we'll be like "Oh, dude!" And pretty soon you'll be like, "Hi," and, "Well, I can't go. Rachel and Mark might be there." And we'll be like, "Man, get over it, it's been four years!"
Chandler: He paints quite a picture, doesn't he?
Joey: Guess who's in an audition for a Broadway musical?
Chandler: I want to say you, but that seems like such an easy answer.
Ross: (About Mark offering Rachel a job) Well, I'm just saying, I mean why else would he just, ya know, swoop in out of nowhere for no reason.
Rachel: To be nice.
Ross: Hey, Joey. Are men ever nice to strange women for no reason?
Joey: No, only for sex.
Joey: Oh My God. How many of these have you had? These are pure vodka.
Chandler: Yup, Jello just like mom used to make.
Joey: Man, I remember the first time I saw that girl Katherine, after we broke up. She was just walking with her friend Donna, just laughing and talking. God, it killed me.
Chandler: Yes, but you ended up having sex with both of them that afternoon.
Rachel: I'm training to be better at a job that I hate. My life officially sucks.
Joey: Look Rach, wasn't this supposed to a temporary thing? I thought you wanted to do fashion stuff?
Rachel: Well, yeah! I'm still pursuing that.
Chandler: How... exactly are you pursuing that? Ya know, other than sending out resumes like, what, two years ago?
Rachel: Well, I'm also sending out.... good thoughts.
Joey: If you ask me, as long as you got this job, you've got nothing pushing you to get another one. You need the fear.
Rachel: The fear?
Chandler: He's right, if you quit this job, you then have motivation to go after a job you really want.
Rachel: Well then how come you're still at a job that you hate, I mean why don't you quit and get "the fear?"
(Chandler and Joey both start laughing)
Chandler: Because, I'm too afraid.
Phoebe: I am against innocent trees being cut down in their prime, and their, their corpses grotesquely dressed in like tinsel and twinkly lights. Hey, how do you sleep at night?
Joey: Well, I'm pretty tired from lugging the trees around all day. Hey, Phoebe listen, you got this all wrong. Those trees were born to be Christmas trees, their fulfilling their life purpose, by, by making people happy.
Phoebe: Really?
Chandler: Yes. Yes, and ah, ah, the trees are happy too, because for most of them, it's their only chance to see New York.
Joey: Come on man, you have not done anything since you and her broke up.
Chandler: Thats not true. I wanted to wear my bathrobe and eat peanut clusters all day. I wanted to start drinking in the morning. Don't say I don't have goals.
