Joey Tribbiani Quotes
Ugly Naked Guy's using his new hammock. It's like a Play-Doh Fat Factory.
Monica: Joey just saw Janice kissing her ex-husband.
Ross: What? (To Joey) So what are you going to do? I mean how, how are you going to tell Chandler?
Joey: Well, I was thinking about that and I, I think the best way would be, to not.
Rachel: Joey, you can't keep this to yourself, if you know about this, you have to tell him.
Joey: It'll kill him. I mean it'll, it'll just kill him.
Phoebe: Well, you could wait 'til I go to the dentist, maybe I'll kill him.
Joey: Ugly Naked Guy looks awfully still.
Phoebe: Oh my God! I killed him! I killed another one! And this curse is getting stronger, too, to bring down something that big.
Monica: Okay, Ben, I won't tell your daddy that you had ice cream for dinner, if you don't tell about our little bonking incident.
Rachel: Monica, number one, I don't think Ben understands the concept of bribery, and number two, I... (Joey starts laughing) What?!
Joey: You said number two.
Rachel: I also said number one.
Joey: I know. (Laughs harder)
Ross: So I told Carl nobody, no matter how famous their parents are, nobody's allowed to climb on the dinosaur. Of course, this went right in...
Rachel: (Thinking) I love how he cares so much about stuff. If I squint I can pretend he's Alan Alda.
Monica: (Thinking) Oh good, another dinosaur story. When are those going to become extinct?
Chandler: (Thinking) If I was a superhero that could fly and be invisible, that would be the best.
Gunther: (Thinking about Ross) What does Rachel see in this guy? I love Rachel, I wish she was my wife.
Joey: (Singing "The Baby Elephant Walk" in his head) Da dadada da da da da da duh. Da dadada da da da da da duh.
Phoebe: (Thinking) Who's singing?
Joey: Hey, Monica bought a bed from the Mattress King?
Phoebe: Yeah, so please, please, please, don't say anything to Chandler.
Joey: (Sounding offended) You want me to lie to Chandler?
Phoebe: Is that a problem?
Joey: No.
Rosss: My wife's a lesbian.
Joey: Cool!
Joey: Don't worry, I'm totally okay with the gay thing.
Chandler: What gay thing?
Joey: Uh, just... you know, the whole people being gay... thing... totally cool with it.
Joey: Oh, I'm sorry. Did I get 'ya?
Chandler: No, you didn't get me! It's an electric drill! You get me, you kill me!
Joey: You know how we're always saying we need a place for the mail?
Chandler: Yeah?
Joey: Well, I started building one. But then I decided to take it to the next step.
Chandler: You're building a post office?
Chandler: (About the entertainment center being too large) A good job, Joe.
Joey: Wow. It's big.
Chandler: Yeah, so big that it actually makes our doors look smaller.
Joey: Maybe my ruler's wrong.
Phoebe: Maybe all the rulers are wrong.
Chandler: Okay. On three. One. Two.
Joey: Why don't we just go on two.
Chandler: Why two?
Joey: Because it's faster.
Chandler: You know, I could've counted to three like four times without all this two talk.
Joey: All right but in the future ...
Ross: Okay, okay, heavy thing not getting any lighter
Chandler: Okay. One. Two.
Joey: So we are going on two?
