Jordan Sullivan Quotes
Mr. Thompson: Tell me about your kid.
Jordan: Oh, how'd you know I was a mom?
Mr. Thompson: As a parent myself, I can read the signs, you know? And let us not forget the understated coffee mug we're carrying.
(Jordan looks at her mug, which has a photo of Jack and the words "Jack's Mom.")
Jordan: I am your new friend, so suck it!
J.D.: I gotta go talk to my boys!
Carla: Oh, and I have to go talk to Elliot.
Turk: No, wait, don't leave me!
Dr. Cox: It's a rite of passage that you have to go through around here to be accepted.
Jordan: Oh my God! You actually did something nice for me!
Dr. Cox: No, no. No no no no no no no. It was a selfish act. If other people talk to you, you won't have to talk to me!
Jordan: I'm not sure how people go about doing these things...(pulls out some cash) but here. You should be there for your daughter's birthday.
Mr. Thompson: I can't take that.
Jordan: Come on... I can't even Botox an ear with this.
Keith: Heeey...
Jordan: Sparky, it's five dollars a minute to stare in public. It's free in private...
Jordan: So, do you think I should take the job? Perry?
Dr. Cox: Oh. I'm sorry, honey. I was just thinking about this little boy in here. He's only eight years old and he's terminal. I just hope his parents spent as much time with him as they could - you're here one minute, and then the next you're... What, uh, what were you saying?
Jordan: Nothing.
Dr. Kelso: How would you like to make this a full-time job?
Jordan: I'll have to think about it!
Dr. Cox stares incredulously at Kelso
Dr. Kelso: How could you not see this coming?
Jordan: Oh, yeah, Ted, I moved the file cabinet. I'm gonna miss this office.
Dr. Cox: Why? It smells like that odd combo of flopsweat, hopelessness, and feet.
Dr. Cox: Hey, Jordan, um... Lookit, I tried to guilt you into not taking that job.
Jordan: Really? Look, I don't wanna be one of those moms that never sees her kids. But I also don't wanna be one of those moms that stays at home but then resents her kids 'cause she wishes she was working so she could go to an office and feel bad about not being at home with her kids. I was just worried that you would think I was a bad mom.
Dr. Cox: Sweetie, you are an evil, soulless, chemically-enhanced battle-axe that I truly doubt is a hundred percent human, but... you are an amazing mom.
Jordan: Don't sweat it too much, kid. He wore so much cologne on our first date, I had to sell my Miata!
Dr. Cox: WHY?
Jordan: For funsies!
Dr. Cox: Heel!
Lonnie: Thanks for that.
Jordan: Keep movin', fetus face.
Lonnie: Thanks for that.
Jordan: Keep movin', fetus face.
Ted: If you need some happy pills, they're in the top drawer.
Jordan: In this hell-hole, I'll need a gun!
Ted: Bottom left.
