Jordan Sullivan Quotes
Cox: You look so hot. When's the last time we kissed?
Jordan: About a month ago.
Cox: When's the last time we had sex?
Jordan: Yesterday.
Jordan: What kind of guy writes love songs?
Dr. Cox: Guys whose mothers make them go to ballet class.
Jordan: Fair enough.
Jordan: And why are you limping?
Dr. Cox: Fishing? I'm limping from fishing.
Dr. Kelso: I know that limp.
Dr. Cox: No, Bob. Bob, no.
Dr. Kelso: You just got a vasectomy! I had mine done back in '68. Ironically, that was the same year that Enid discovered pasta and I discovered I'm not attracted to enormous women.
Dr. Cox: I didn't just get a vasectomy.
Dr. Kelso: Come on, soldier! If I have to force you to drop your pants, I will! So, tell Bobbo, was it a hard decision for the two of you to make?
Dr. Cox: Yeah, we... we really... struggled... with it.
Dr. Kelso: I don't really care.
Elliot: I have been kicking ass lately, but this place is such a boys' club I still can't even get x-rays or lab tests back on time.
Carla: Hey, Elliot, if you're desperate to get things done, you could always do what Jordan does.
Jordan: Could you move my car out of the sun? If the seat gets too hot, my thighs get all pink and sweaty.
The guy grabs the keys and takes off in a flash.
Jordan: Yeah. Bye-bye, security guard.
Elliot: Hm. Very classy.
Carla: Elliot, your interviewer called, he's running late. Would you take Turk somewhere for me?
Elliot: Where?
Jordan: Oh. The, uh, honey festival!
Elliot: Oh my God! Is that back in town?
Jordan: (about Elliot) She has nice breasts.
Carla: They're real.
Jordan: No, they're not.
J.D.: Yeah, they are.
Jordan: They're not!
Sweetie, you won't have to do that! Sure, if it's something really important, you might have to occasionally sleep with someone. That's how I hooked up with Perry - needed a pen.
Jordan: Don't judge me, stick. You do what you have to do to level the playing field.
Elliot: Well, Carla and I would never behave that way.
Carla: Thank you.
Elliot: How'd you get chocolate cake? He said they didn't have any!
Carla: Oh. I just did like this (thrusts cleavage) and said, "Got cake?"
Turk: Ladies. I think we've learned our lesson.
Jordan: That is not helpful, Turkleton!
Turk: I was covered in bees!
Elliot: Okay, so I tried to get some x-rays back from the lab tech by making a kissy face, and he asked me if I had palsy!
Jordan: Elliot, if you want to get ahead, you have to use what God gave ya!
Carla: Or in your case, what Dr. Fineberg gave you.
Jordan: Exactly!
Elliot: It's going to be worse than the time my brother Barry caught me reading his Playgirl magazines.
Jordan: Don't you mean Playboy?
Elliot: No.
Jordan: So you're saying that your brother's -
Elliot: Yes.
Jordan: Has he actually told your family that -
Elliot: No.
Jordan: But everyone's positive that he's -
Elliot: Yes.
Jordan: Do you think he and another guy have ever -
Elliot: No more questions.
Elliot: Jordan. You're on the board, what is the story on my patient Mr. Summers?
Jordan: Well Stick, I'm going to warn you the same way I warn Perry every time I have more than three scotches. Prepare to have your ass grabbed!
Elliot: That's disturbing in like... eight different ways.
