Jules: At least none of these are weird sex things.
Tom: Uh, two of them can be.
Jules: Which one? No, I don't want to know. It's the fedora, right?

Jules: You know, since the day that we met, I spent most of my craziest times with you.
Laurie: Oh like the time we broke all the penises off the statues! Or when we went bar hopping and we stole that scary cop's gun? Or when we broke into Tom's house and we locked his girlfriend in the closet!
Jules: Wow, we sound totally insane when you string them all together.

Jules: Sometimes I still sneak into Travis' room and watch him sleep.
Laurie: Travis and I live together.
Jules: I've said too much.

Ellie: We've been robbed!
Jules: Dun dun dun... I don't know why I did that.

Jules: You know, I was trying to find the perfect setting and now I just don't know what to do. I know I have to tell them, or, a different approach, we hop in a car, drive west, and never look back.
Ellie: Don't joke! I packed my Thelma and Louise bag six years ago, so say the word I'll go grab it.

I have two hours to get healthy. It's like cramming for a test.

The only thing I've ever made from scratch is Travis.

Yep, we raised a deadbeat.

If I’m running, you’re running. Are you new to this group?

Jules: The mayor’s wife can take a bottle of wine?
Ellie: Uh, no that’s more of an Ellie thing. We should walk faster.

Jules: Hey, does it make me gay if I eat this?
Ellie: I think it does.
Jules: Well I’m doing it anyway.
Laurie: Do you want a fork?

Duh, no paper bills less tree murder.