He looks like that nerdy lesbian from Scooby-Boo.

Jules: What the hell was that?
Laurie: You're getting landlined.

Honey, cutting crotches out of pants is not sewing.

I'm gonna make that pale ass, icy bitch love me whether she likes it or not.

Ellie: Wow, you're annoying.
Jules: I know, but I'll always have your back.
Ellie: And I'm more loyal than I am mean.
Jules: Oh, well you're real loyal aren't you?

Grayson: And is this why Travis thinks he's so handsome.
Jules: Yep, that's all me.

Jules: I can't even be a whore?
Travis: Mom, I think you would be an amazing whore-oh my God I can't believe I just said that.

Oh my God, your purse could be my purse's mom.

They're like fire hydrants, but useful.

Jules: This sucks I need Grayson to care about what's going on in our lives. All I ever wanted was to grow old with someone and argue with them while we drink wine.
Ellie: That sounds like us. What do you say we pack it all in and become big ol' dykes?
Jules: No, not yet, but I'd like to know that choice is out there. Stay skinny just in case.
Ellie: Deal.

Ellie this isn't fun anymore turn it off.

Jules: Who pretend throws things to show their anger?!
Grayson: Lots of people.

Cougar Town Quotes

Laurie: Jules told me never to ask, but why do you call me Jellybean?
Ellie: Well JB, when Jules first hired you I thought you were so simple minded she could convince you that Jellybeans were more valuable than gold and subsequently pay you in Jellybeans. This concept was eventually shorted into your nickname, Jellybean.

Did you finally get a visit from the nutsack fairy?

Ellie