Kelly Kapoor Quotes
If I get to stay and Ryan is laid off, I will kill myself, like Romeo and Juliet... the Claire Danes one.
Kelly
Kelly: I don't even want to hear it, okay!? I did not come to Diwali to get yelled at!
Kelly's mom: Ryan is a temporary worker, makes no money! Wali is a whole doctor. So handsome, makes good money!
Kelly: You think I want to marry a doctor?!
Kelly: Um, Diwali is awesome. And there's food, and there's gonna be dancing. And, oh, I got the raddest outfit. It has, um, sparkles-
Michael: Kelly? Um, why don't you tell us a little bit about the origins of the holiday?
Kelly: Oh, um, I don't know. It's really old, I think.
Angela: How many gods do you have?
Kelly: Like hundreds, I think. Maybe more than that.
Angela: And that blue busty gal? What's her story?
Kevin: She looks like Pam from the neck down.
Dwight: Pam wishes.
Michael: Nice dress, Ryan.
Kelly: It's not a dress, it's a kurtha!
Michael: [laughing] Oh, okay.
Kelly: Dwight's a freak!
Angela: YOU'RE A FREAK!
Kobe Bryant has a foundation, and he is so hot. And he gave his wife the biggest diamond ring. I know he didn't do it. Maybe he did it.
Kevin: It's negative!
Michael: God... we're gonna beat this, OK? C'mere...
[later, in interview]
Michael: Well apparently in the medicine community, negative means 'good.' Which makes absolutely no sense. In the real world community that would be chaos.
I never really thought about death until Princess Diana died. That was the saddest funeral ever. That and my sister's.
Kelly
Jim: What's up Kelly?
Kelly: Nothing, except Oh! Last night Ryan and I finally hooked up!
[telling Jim what to say to Ryan] Just tell him that I'm up for anything, I'm mean I'm not a slut but who knows ....
Michael: I wanted all of you to take a look at a few of the many, many disabled icons who have contributed so much to our society.
Jim: Quick question, uhh, why is Tom Hanks on the wall?
Ryan: Twice?
Michael: Good question. Forrest Gump — mentally challenged, Philadelphia — AIDS.
Kevin: I think that's from Big.
Michael: I don't think so, no.
Kelly: Yeah, he's dancing on a piano with Robert Loggia.
Michael: He grew into a man overnight. Rare disability. It still works.
Kelly: [kisses Dwight]
Dwight: What are you doing?!
Kelly: I don't know.
Dwight: You shouldn't do things like that. A man's supposed to do that.
