Kenneth Parcell Quotes
Sorry, sir, that happens sometimes when I unhinge my pelvis.
An angry God is punishing them. It's a Christmas miracle!
Well, they make our shoes and wallets.
Global warming? Sorry, sir, that's just scientist talk. The same people who say my grandfather was a monkey. If that's true, why was he killed by a monkey?
Who said I've been alive forever?
Miss Maroney, your Mexican diet pills came. Should I start taking them to test their side effects?
I feel about as useless as a mom's college degree.
[on bed bugs] Looks like you got a bad case of the chew-daddies. Ozark kisses? The woodsman's companion?
The usual, I suppose. Two hobos sharing a bean. Lady airline pilots.
Kenneth: At least he died doing what he loved most: blogging on the Huffington Post.
Mr. Donaghy, I wasn't sure if you were going to participate in this year's pumpkin carving contest or like last year I should go jump up my own ass.
When the Parcells first came to America, they lived in a town called Sexcriminalboat.
