The Office

Kevin Malone Quotes (Page 14)

Kevin: It's Michael versus Stanley, and it is the clash of the titans. In one corner, you have Michael, and he is mad. And then, in the other corner, you have Stanley, and he's mad. So that's about it!
 • Rating: Unrated

Kevin: After Stacy left, things did not go well for awhile. And, and it was hard to see... It's just nice to win one.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Bob Vance: Where's Scott?
Andy: Uh ... Michael Scott could not make it today due to an unforeseen prior engagement.
W.B. Jones: Let's just meet back in an hour.
Andy: Gentleman please. We called this meeting. Andrew Bernard is the name of me. And this is my associate, Mr. Kevin Malone.
Kevin: I... have... things...
W.B. Jones: Alright, what do you want?
Andy: Well first of all, I'd just like to say what an honor it is to be sitting here with you gentlemen.
W.B. Jones: You have about 10 seconds-
Kevin: We want our parking spaces back!
Paul Faust: Whose parking spaces?
Kevin: W.B. Jones' construction guys park in our parking spaces every morning and some people have to park really far away and walk all the way to the office. And some people sweat too much for comfort and-
Bill Cress: Ohh... God...
Paul: I don't have time for this you guys. Just give 'em back their spaces.
W.B. Jones: OK.
Paul: We good? OK. Could have done this over e-mail.
 • Rating: Unrated

Kevin: The five families are the five companies of Scranton Business Park. The bosses rarely meet. There's Michael Scott, Regional Manager, Dunder Mifflin. Bob Vance, Vance Refrigeration. Paul Faust of Disaster Kits Limited. They call him "Cool Guy Paul." W.B. Jones of W.B. Jones Heating and Air. Grade A Bad Ass. And Bill Cress of Cress Tool and Dye. Bill Cress is super old and really mean.
 • Rating: Unrated

Kevin: We need to assemble the five families.
Michael: No, not the five families.
Kevin: We have to.
 • Rating: Unrated

Andy: Because of the construction at W.B. Jones, half of us have to park in the satellite lot.
Michael: Hmm..
Andy: It's like a 10 minute walk.
Kevin: No, 30.
Michael: Well, look, I am in an assigned parking place in front, so... Alright, alright, alright, umm let me try to think about what it would be like to not have one. OK, yes that would be bad.
Kevin: Yes.
Andy: Yes.
Michael: That would be bad.
Andy: OK.
Kevin: Nice.
 • Rating: Unrated

Kevin: What's going on?
Jim: Michael just called the pizza place with a list of demands.
Michael: Mister Overdramatic, what's up Kevin?
Kevin: We're getting hungry out there. We're all accomplices now anyway, so we figured we might as well eat. We would like to order some good pizza, from Alfredo's Pizza Cafe, while we wait for the hostage situation with the bad pizza to end.
 • Rating: Unrated

Stanley: You find anything?
Kevin: We think it's a straight forward kidnapping.
Oscar: Stanley, could you look up "accomplices"?
Stanley: Why can't you guys do it?
Oscar: Because we're looking up jail time.
Stanley: Fine.
 • Rating: 4.0 / 5.0

Kevin: Oh no, it's bad. It's real bad. It's like eating a hot circle of garbage.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Michael: Good news.
Stanley: We get to go home?
Michael: Guess who just ordered from your favorite pizza place, Alfredo?
Kevin: Wait! Alfredo's Pizza Cafe? Or Pizza by Alfredo?
Michael: Same thing.
Kevin: No, no.
 • Rating: Unrated

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