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Kevin: When I was a kid I was on "Dallas."
Andy: Really?
Kevin: Yeah. We missed our connecting flight so we spent the entire day on Dallas. Then we spent a week on Hawaii. I was on heaven.

Packer: Yeah you know how to read a menu!
Kevin: He's right. I could lose some weight.

Packer: It's great to be among friends... until then, you suckers will do.
Kevin: Nice. We got burned.

I have very little patience for stupidity.

Ryan: You should enter it in festivals.
Kevin: Or carnivals.

Oscar: Go on. Kiss each other already.
Kevin: Suck it Oscar. This must kill you.

Michael: Holly and I are moving in together. Oscar this must be tough for you, watching this go down. You could not stand in the way of true love my friend.
Oscar: Are you kidding? I wasn't trying to break you guys up.
Kevin: Better luck next time pal!

Dwight: Do more stupid faces!
Kevin: Which one? I have a lot of stupid faces.

Can I finish? Is that okay? I was saying... I enjoy watching them because it makes me horny.

Andy, I'm not Jim. The only way that I'm Jim is in the movie version when Jim sees what his future would be like if he never met Pam.

Holly: You guys, it wasn't my fault!
Kevin: Oh nothing is ever your fault! Just like when you ate those maple candies that you brought for us!

Andy: I bet he's wishing he had a hybrid, right? 60 miles to the gallon in the city.
Kevin: No, I bet he's wishing he was strangling somebody.

Displaying quotes 37 - 48 of 192 in total

The Office Quotes

In the end, the greatest snowball isn't a snowball at all...it's fear. Merry Christmas.

Dwight

Guess what, I have flaws. What are they? Oh, I don't know. I sing in the shower. Sometimes I spend too much time volunteering. Occasionally I'll hit somebody with my car. So sue me... No, don't sue me. That is the opposite of the point that I'm trying to make.

Michael