I always hold eye contact with people, it totally freaks out my gyno.

Laurie: Wait guys, I read something!
Ellie: Already not a true story.

Bobby: You need to go hit it and quit it.
Andy: Toot it and boot it.
Laurie: Whip it and skip it.
Bobby: Wax it and tax it.
Andy: Mother it and smother it.
Laurie: Bop it and drop it.
Grayson: Chuck it and ... re-chuck it.
Laurie: Yours don't make any sense.

I'm gonna have to throw my "too creepy" flag!

Laurie: Jules told me never to ask, but why do you call me Jellybean?
Ellie: Well JB, when Jules first hired you I thought you were so simple minded she could convince you that Jellybeans were more valuable than gold and subsequently pay you in Jellybeans. This concept was eventually shorted into your nickname, Jellybean.

Hey bro, there is no music in the world that will match what your body is doing.

Women do love when men fight for them. There is nothing less sexy than a man that respects a restraining order.

Please I don't miss people I dismiss them.

I don't know exactly what your race is, but I am into it in a big way.

It's not my fault that I am allergic to latex and birth control pills.

As my uncle dad always told me, check yourself, before you wreck yourself.

Laurie: Okay I'm lost inside my brain again...
Ellie: Oh jelly bean.
Laurie: Drinking games! I love drinking games!

Cougar Town Quotes

Tell her I'll get like, jury duty drunk.

Laurie

Don't hate the player, hate the game, yo!

Ellie