I always hold eye contact with people, it totally freaks out my gyno.

Laurie: Jules told me never to ask, but why do you call me Jellybean?
Ellie: Well JB, when Jules first hired you I thought you were so simple minded she could convince you that Jellybeans were more valuable than gold and subsequently pay you in Jellybeans. This concept was eventually shorted into your nickname, Jellybean.

Laurie: Wait guys, I read something!
Ellie: Already not a true story.

I'm gonna have to throw my "too creepy" flag!

Bobby: You need to go hit it and quit it.
Andy: Toot it and boot it.
Laurie: Whip it and skip it.
Bobby: Wax it and tax it.
Andy: Mother it and smother it.
Laurie: Bop it and drop it.
Grayson: Chuck it and ... re-chuck it.
Laurie: Yours don't make any sense.

Hey bro, there is no music in the world that will match what your body is doing.

Women do love when men fight for them. There is nothing less sexy than a man that respects a restraining order.

Please I don't miss people I dismiss them.

I don't know exactly what your race is, but I am into it in a big way.

It's not my fault that I am allergic to latex and birth control pills.

As my uncle dad always told me, check yourself, before you wreck yourself.

Laurie: Okay I'm lost inside my brain again...
Ellie: Oh jelly bean.
Laurie: Drinking games! I love drinking games!

Cougar Town Quotes

Laurie: Jules told me never to ask, but why do you call me Jellybean?
Ellie: Well JB, when Jules first hired you I thought you were so simple minded she could convince you that Jellybeans were more valuable than gold and subsequently pay you in Jellybeans. This concept was eventually shorted into your nickname, Jellybean.

Grayson: You can't stand to be along for a second can you?
Jules: That is ridiculous
Grayson: So why did you go out with father time?
Jules: Because I am a history buff and I haven't been in a car with only a lap belt in a long time