Favorite Leela Quotes
Zoidberg: You? The successor? Over my empty shell! The Professor will pick me. Only I have his lobster-like tenacity.
Hermes: Up yours, Zoidberg. Up wherever your species traditionally crams things. The only sensible way to choose a successor is with a limbo contest.
Leela: What?
Hermes: Kingston rules. Two men go down, one come up.
Guard-bot #1: Administer the test.
Guard-bot #2: Which of the following would you most prefer? A, a puppy; B, a pretty flower from your sweetie or; C, a large properly-formatted data file?
Guard-bot #1: Choose!
Fry: Is the puppy mechanical in any way?
Guard-bot #2: No. It is the bad kind of puppy.
Leela: Then we'll go with that data file.
Guard-bot #2: Correct.
Guard-bot #1: The flower would also have been acceptable.
Leela: After 14 years of graduate school, Farnsworth settled into the glamorous life of a scientist: Fast cars, trendy nightspots, beautiful women - the Professor designed them all working out of his tiny, one-room apartment.
Thank God most of our fans are huge perverts.
So many papers, not enough hiding plants!
Leela: What do you feed him?
Bender: What comes out one end we feed to the other. Also, Indian food.
Profesor: Trevi! It's the Trevi Fountain! There can be no question!
Leela: But Professor...
Profesor: There can be no question!
Fry: Don't girl me with that girl stuff. Bender and me are guys. Guys don't have feelings.
Leela: Bender's not a guy, he's a robot.
Fry: Same thing.
Leela: You can't just sit here in the dark listening to classical music.
(Sir Mixalot's Baby Got Back is heard)
Fry: I could if you hadn't turned on the lights and shut off the stereo.
Leela: Look at that five o'clock rust. You've been up all night not drinking, haven't you?
Bender: Hey. What I don't do is none of your business.
Leela: Please, Bender. Have some malt liquor. If not for yourself then for the people who love you.
Bender: I hate the people who love me and they hate me.
Fry: Hey I'm starting to get the hang of this game. The blerns are loaded, the count's 3 blerns and 2 anti-blerns, and the in-field blern rule is in effect... right?
Leela: Expect for the word 'blern' that was complete gibberish.
Bender: I think I got whiplash.
Leela: You can't have whiplash, you don't have a neck.
Bender: I meant ass whiplash.
