Leonard: I think any university would want you -- except, of course, any university that had already had you, because they would have already wanted you, before they, you know, got you.
Sheldon: From the mind that brought you "hi-lo."

Leonard: Are you planning on kidnapping a woman?
Sheldon: Sarcasm?
Leonard: Yes, but mixed with a little bit of concern.

Don't let Goofy near him. He'll have nightmares, and I'll have to deal with it

Leonard: If my PE teachers told me this is what I was training for I would have tried a lot harder.
Penny: Do or do not, there is no try.
Leonard: Did you just quote Star Wars?
Penny: I believe I quoted Empire Strikes Back.
Leonard: Oh my God. I'm lying in bed with a beautiful woman who can quote Yoda.

Sheldon: I recently had a dream that I was giant, but everything around me was to scale, so it all looked normal.
Leonard: How did you know you were a giant if everything was to scale?
Sheldon: I was wearing size "a million" pants.

Leonard: We think we can help you with your stage fright.
Sheldon: Oh, I doubt that. I haven't figured out a way, and I'm much smarter than all of you.
Penny: Yes, buy you're not smaller than all of us put together.
Sheldon: I'm sorry, that is what I meant.

Leonard: What, to you, is a large crowd?
Sheldon: Any group big enough to trample me to death. General rule of thumb is 36 adults or 70 children.

Leonard: You want to talk endless patience? Penny made me watch all five seasons of Sex and the City.
Raj: Dude, there's six seasons.
Leonard: Oh crap.

Leonard: It should go back to Peter Jackson. He made the movies; it belongs to him.
Wolowitz: Fine, he can have it back -- as long as he promises to make me a hobbit in his next movie.
Raj: There are no Jewish hobbits.
Wolowitz: Clearly, you've never been to my house for dinner on Rosh Hashana.

Here's Mr. T's head on Spock's body. I pity the fool that is illogical.

Penny: Sheldon's in jail.
Leonard: What'd he do?
Penny: The same crap he normally does, except to a judge.

Instead of underpants, I covered my crotch with potato salad this morning. Thoughts?

TBBT Quotes

Amy, I excel at many things, but getting over you wasn't one of them.


(Singing) Thor and Dr Jones, Thor and Dr. Jones. One plays with lightening, the other plays with bones.

Howard and Raj