The Big Bang Theory
Thursdays 8:00 PM on CBSLeonard Hofstadter Quotes
Leonard: Penny, Steve Wozniack was one of the co-founders of Apple computer. He and Steve Jobs...
Penny: Yeah. I know who he is. I watch Dancing With the Stars.
Sheldon: I don't understand why you're not enjoying this. Together, in this car, with my enhanced capabilities, we're like 'Knight Rider.'
Leonard: Except, in Knight Rider, the car isn't a yammering sphincter.
Sheldon: You mock the sphincter, but, the sphincter is a class of muscle without which human beings couldn't survive. There are over 50 different sphincters in the human body. How many can you name?
Leonard: I was wrong. This is exactly like Knight Rider
Raj: You slipped and fell into a robot hand?
Wolowitz: Yes.
Raj: Penis first?
Wolowitz: Yes. Now help me!
Leonard: I'd suggest a lubricant, but I have a feeling you fell on some of that as well.
When you say mistake, do you mean a fortunate mistake like the discovery of penicillin?
Don't worry about the moon. We set our laser to "stun."
Sheldon: I should have brought an umbrella.
Leonard: What for? It's not gonna rain.
Sheldon: I know that, but with skin as fair as mine, moon burn is a real possibility.
Sheldon: Are you asking me or telling me?
Leonard: Telling you?
Sheldon: That's not an apology; that's simply an acknowledgment that I was right.
Leonard: Okay, I'm sorry.
Sheldon: There you go.
Leonard: Is that your dad?
Wolowitz: If she grows any more hair on her face, yes.
Leonard: What am I doing in your spam folder?
Sheldon: I put you there after you forwarded me a picture of a cat playing the piano entitled, "this is funny."
Sheldon: Roommates agree that Friday nights shall be reserved for watching Joss Whedon's brilliant new series, "Firefly."
Leonard: Does that really need to be in the agreement?
Sheldon: Might as well settle it now; it's going to be on for years.
Leonard: You still have a cold?
Raj: Maybe, but I don't care. That's the good thing about NyQuil -- it's like, 10% booze. I call it the "nighttime sniffling, sneezing, coughing, so you can talk to girls medicine."
