The Big Bang Theory

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The big bang theory

Sheldon: You know, the more I think about it, the "mobster sauce" couldn't possibly contain chunks of mobster.
Leonard: And why is that?
Sheldon: It was listed under "Seafood."
Leonard: Maybe they were mobsters who "slept with the fishes."

Wolowitz: I once dated a girl who believed she was abducted by aliens.
Leonard: And that didn't bother you?
Wolowitz: Au contraire; it meant she was gullible and open to a little probing.

Raj: Good news guys, I got the four hour special edition of Watchmen.
Leonard: Got it.
Wolowitz: Seen it.
Sheldon: Detailed analysis posted online.

Leonard: When we watch Frosty the Snowman, he roots for the sun.
Sheldon: Excuse me, but the sun is essential for all life on earth. Frosty is merely a bit of frozen, supernatural ephemera in a stolen hat. A crime, by the way, for which he is never brought to account.

Sheldon: It's doubtful that his mother will be over-impressed with a woman whose biggest achievement was memorizing the Cheesecake Factory menu.
Penny: Hey, it's a big menu! There's two pages just for desserts!
Leonard: And those specials, they change every day!
Penny: Okay, it's lame when I say it, it's just ridiculous when you pile it on.

Sheldon: It's a bust of Sir Isaac Newton.
Penny: Oh sure, sure. Very Christmasy.
Sheldon: Well, excuse me, it's much more Christmasy than anything you put on the tree.
Leonard: Here we go...
Sheldon: December 25th, 1642. Julian calendar. Sir Issac Newton is born. Jesus, however, was actually born in the summer. His birthday was moved to coincide with the traditional pagan holiday that celebrates the winter solstice with lit fires and slaughtered guts, which frankly sounds like more fun than twelve hours of Church with my mother, followed by fruit cake.

Leonard: The more the merrier.
Sheldon: That's a false equivalency, more does not equal merry. If there were two thousand people in this apartment, would we be celebrating? No, we'd be suffocating.

Wolowitz: In romance, like show business, always leave them wanting more.
Leonard: What does that mean?
Penny: He struck out.

Wolowitz: Before you and Penny hooked up, did she ask for any sort of commitment?
Leonard: No, she was pretty clear about wanting to keep her options open.

Leonard: The meteors are so pretty.
Raj: With your American accent, everything you say sounds stupid.

Sheldon: Is that what you're wearing to watch football over at Penny's?
Leonard: What's wrong with a football jersey?
Sheldon: Nothing. That, however, appears to be a football cocktail dress.

Wolowitz: Sheldon knows football?
Leonard: Apparently.
Wolowitz: I mean, Quidditch, sure. But football?

Displaying quotes 277 - 288 of 432 in total

TBBT Quotes

Leonard: What? You're afraid of both dinosaurs and chickens.
Sheldon: Yes, but tell me a dinosaur chicken salad sandwich wouldn't hit the Mesozoic spot.

Leonard: Hi. I'm Leonard. You are beautiful. You pop, sparkle and buzz electric. I'm going to pick you up at eight, show you a night you will never forget.
Raj: Where are we going?

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