Leonard Hofstadter Quotes
Leonard: Penny, Steve Wozniack was one of the co-founders of Apple computer. He and Steve Jobs...
Penny: Yeah. I know who he is. I watch Dancing With the Stars.
- Permalink: Penny, Steve Wozniack was one of the co-founders of Apple comput...
Sheldon: I don't understand why you're not enjoying this. Together, in this car, with my enhanced capabilities, we're like 'Knight Rider.'
Leonard: Except, in Knight Rider, the car isn't a yammering sphincter.
Sheldon: You mock the sphincter, but, the sphincter is a class of muscle without which human beings couldn't survive. There are over 50 different sphincters in the human body. How many can you name?
Leonard: I was wrong. This is exactly like Knight Rider
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Raj: You slipped and fell into a robot hand?
Raj: Penis first?
Wolowitz: Yes. Now help me!
Leonard: I'd suggest a lubricant, but I have a feeling you fell on some of that as well.
- Permalink: You slipped and fell into a robot hand? Yes. Penis first? ...
When you say mistake, do you mean a fortunate mistake like the discovery of penicillin?
- Permalink: When you say mistake, do you mean a fortunate mistake like the d...
Don't worry about the moon. We set our laser to "stun."
- Permalink: Don't worry about the moon. We set our laser to stun.
Sheldon: I should have brought an umbrella.
Leonard: What for? It's not gonna rain.
Sheldon: I know that, but with skin as fair as mine, moon burn is a real possibility.
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Sheldon: Are you asking me or telling me?
Leonard: Telling you?
- Permalink: Are you asking me or telling me? Telling you?
Sheldon: That's not an apology; that's simply an acknowledgment that I was right.
Leonard: Okay, I'm sorry.
Sheldon: There you go.
- Permalink: That's not an apology; that's simply an acknowledgment that I wa...
Leonard: Is that your dad?
Wolowitz: If she grows any more hair on her face, yes.
- Permalink: Is that your dad? If she grows any more hair on her face, yes.
Leonard: What am I doing in your spam folder?
Sheldon: I put you there after you forwarded me a picture of a cat playing the piano entitled, "this is funny."
- Permalink: What am I doing in your spam folder? I put you there after you...
Sheldon: Roommates agree that Friday nights shall be reserved for watching Joss Whedon's brilliant new series, "Firefly."
Leonard: Does that really need to be in the agreement?
Sheldon: Might as well settle it now; it's going to be on for years.
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Leonard: You still have a cold?
Raj: Maybe, but I don't care. That's the good thing about NyQuil -- it's like, 10% booze. I call it the "nighttime sniffling, sneezing, coughing, so you can talk to girls medicine."
- Permalink: You still have a cold? Maybe, but I don't care. That's the goo...
Penny: Here's a question-- as an alien pretending to be human, are you planning to engage in any post-prom mating rituals with Amy?
Sheldon: There are post-prom mating rituals?
Penny: Not always. Unless your date drives a van with an air mattress, then always.
Sheldon: Well, if it's part of the prom experience, then I'm open to it.
Penny: You're kidding.
Sheldon: I may be an alien, but I have urges.If Amy wants to copulate by firing her eggs into space, well, then, I will happily catch them with the reproductive sac on my upper flermin. I'm not the best at reading facial cues, but I can see that you're a little turned on.
Penny, there's only one cookie with something in the middle that solves life's problems, and that's an Oreo. Or a Nutter Butter, if you're in a pinch.Sheldon