Leonard Hofstadter Quotes
Sheldon: Leonard, you can't train my girlfriend like a lab rat
Leonard: Actually, it turns out I can
Sheldon: Well you shouldn't
- Permalink: Leonard, you can't train my girlfriend like a lab rat Actually...
Leonard: Why would you buy peppermint schnapps?
Penny: Because I like peppermint, and it's fun to say schnapps!
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Leonard: Will you take that stupid red hat off?
Wolowitz: No, I want to blend in
Raj: To what? Toy story?
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Leonard: I don't want to go to Texas
Wolowitz: Alright and I do? My people already crossed the desert once. We're done
- Permalink: I don't want to go to Texas Alright and I do? My people alrea...
Leonard [about snuggie gift]: what does this mean?
Penny: Wine, credit cards and late night television are a bad combination
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Wolowitz: Just imagine ... if he says yes, we'll have an entire summer without Sheldon.
Raj: We could play outside.
Wolowitz: We could sit on the left side of the couch.
Leonard: I could use the bathroom at 8:20!
Raj: Our dreams are very small, aren't they?
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Sheldon: It must be an emergency; everyone at the university knows that I eat my breakfast at 8 and move my bowels at 8:20
Leonard: Yes, how did we live before Twitter?
- Permalink: 20 Yes, how did we live before Twitter?
Sheldon: You have to check your messages, Leonard! Leaving a message is one-half of a social contract, which is completed by the checking of the message. If that contract breaks down, then all social contracts break down and we descend into anarchy.
Leonard: It must be hell inside your head.
Sheldon: At times.
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Raj: Interesting. Penny's current suitor asking advice from Penny's former suitor.
Leonard: Thanks for close-captioning my pain, Raj.
- Permalink: Interesting. Penny's current suitor asking advice from Penny's f...
Leonard: Hey, how's it going?
Wolowitz: Cut the crap, you set this up, didn't you?
Wolowitz: She's a hooker, isn't she?
Raj: A prostitute, yes
Wolowitz: You already gave her the money?
Wolowitz: ... Thank you
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Raj: We should have a plan in case one of us gets lucky
Leonard: Umm... okay...if I get lucky, I'll take her to my stately manner outside Gotham City. If you get lucky, I'll sleep on the moon
Leonard: Sounds like a plan
- Permalink: We should have a plan in case one of us gets lucky Umm... okay...
Leonard: What were you doing at Penny's?
Sheldon: Well, we had dinner, played some games, and then I spent the night. Oh, and you'll be happy to know that I now have a much better understanding of "friends with benefits"
- Permalink: What were you doing at Penny's? Well, we had dinner, played so...
Penny, there's only one cookie with something in the middle that solves life's problems, and that's an Oreo. Or a Nutter Butter, if you're in a pinch.Sheldon
Penny: Here's a question-- as an alien pretending to be human, are you planning to engage in any post-prom mating rituals with Amy?
Sheldon: There are post-prom mating rituals?
Penny: Not always. Unless your date drives a van with an air mattress, then always.
Sheldon: Well, if it's part of the prom experience, then I'm open to it.
Penny: You're kidding.
Sheldon: I may be an alien, but I have urges.If Amy wants to copulate by firing her eggs into space, well, then, I will happily catch them with the reproductive sac on my upper flermin. I'm not the best at reading facial cues, but I can see that you're a little turned on.