Bishop: If we're going to work, you got any food around here?
Gibbs: I have three TV dinners.
Bishop: No. I need some food with a little bit more food in it.
Gibbs: Then let's go get some

Gibbs: How about you? Did it get weird, her and her husband?
Tony: Do you really want to know?
Gibbs: No.

Catherine: The infamous Agent Gibbs.
Gibbs: Lady, save your breath. You're barking up the wrong tree.
Taft: Oh, Gibbs?
Gibbs: Look, if you want to quit, quit, okay? I don't need you. I don't need your shrink. I don't need whoever would take your place.
Taft: Gibbs, this is Catherine. My wife.

Catherine: Look, before he comes back I just want to thank you real quick for being Cyril's friend. We've been through a lot since losing Paul. And I think this sparring you guys do? It's good for him. You're good for him, Gibbs. Very good.
Gibbs: Not as good as he's been for me.
Catherine: Not that you're going to tell him that.
Gibbs: Oh no. His head's already big enough.

Gibbs: We're wasting time.
Fornell: I wouldn't do that if I were you. SecNav's inside with her ex-husband and his girlfriend. Makes me miss Diane.

SecNav: Maybe it's time I re-evaluate my priorities.
Gibbs: You going to quit?
SecNav: If it's best for my family. You don't agree? Think I'm being ruled by fear, what?
Gibbs: I don' think it matters what I think.
SecNav: Humor me.
Gibbs: Family's important.
SecNav: That's it? No rousing pep talk? No "we need you on that wall, Madame Secretary"?
Gibbs: Disappointed?
SecNav: A little bit. Yeah.

Tony: Gibbs, I don't think Abby's heart cakes are edible.
Gibbs: They're tofu, DiNozzo. You keep chewing.

Tony: Remember Max Headroom, Gibbs?
Gibbs: Who?
Tony: From the 80s. Robot-head.

Grossman: Conveniently, I was born without empathy. With regard to Senior Chief De La Rosa's unfortunate passing, I reviewed the video and there was no proof he died of anything other the complications due to his own line of work. Secondly, even if there were foul play, there is no link between his death and our mission.
Gibbs: What is your mission?
Grossman: Our mission is classified.

Maria: I would never leave my husband. I was raised Catholic, Agent Gibbs. My marriage was sacred.
Gibbs: You've got a funny way of showing it.

Gibbs: You know, there's a small percentage of people who can't eat anything processed red. Allergies. Gives them rashes, Meredith. Like that rash you have right there, Meredith. You must have touched something red recently, huh? Like a vial of red liquid cocaine? Found those inside the PPAs your divers positioned on the ocean floor. There's 200 of them. That's a whole lot of drug money.
Grossman: It's inadmissible garbage. Doesn't make any sense. Where would Meredith get narcotics like that?
Gibbs: She didn't. She had a partner, who's being arrested as we speak. In 2010, you represented the Suarez Cartel. Their signature product was liquid cocaine. Last month you had a meeting in Cartagena. We've been tracking your pre-positioned asset. Last night it was called to the surface and loaded onto a Columbian trailer. The DEA raided it.
Meredith: You dumb ass!
Grossman: Shut up, Merry.
Gibbs: No, Jerry. You shut up.

Gibbs: What do you need?
Bishop: For everyone to stop treating me like I'm this fragile thing that's about to break.
Gibbs: [laughs]
Bishop: What?
Gibbs: How many times a week did you check on me after Iraq? You kept showing up, even after I said I was fine.
Bishop: That's different, Gibbs. You almost died. We were all worried.
Gibbs: So's your family. They just want to make it better.
Bishop: I've been so inundated with everyone's opinions on how I should feel and what I should do, I haven't actually been able to process it myself.
Gibbs: You can't do that if you won't talk about it.

NCIS Quotes

Tony: One other question, I know you're an expert in English history. And I was just wondering, have you ever heard of Archibald Drummond, the 17th Earl of Trent?
Ducky: The Earl of Trent. No, I can't say I have. Why?
Tony: I was just wondering. Thanks.

McGee: All right. Well you should probably know that Abby and I used to date?
Bishop: Ew. Like, each other?
McGee: Yeah.
Bishop: Wait - isn't that a violation of rule 12, never date a....
McGee: It was a long time ago. After we'd broken up, one night I went to her lab. Found a scribbled piece paper; a list. Potential boyfriends had to fulfill certain conditions by a pre-arranged date or else, goodbye.
Bishop: Such as.
McGee: Things started off relatively normal: opening the door for her, flowers, putting the seat down. Then around number 8, it gets uh...
Bishop: What?
McGee: Does she know you have these?
Bishop: Does she know you have these?
McGee: Yeah she wasn't happy when she found out.
Bishop: These are all very specific.
McGee: Yeah.
Bishop: These ideas apply to you?
McGee: No those rules weren't in place when we were together. At least I don't think so.
Bishop: What's with the two month cutoff? Abby's sabotaging herself. I've seen stuff like this before. We have to talk to her.