Here. Sit down. You talk, I'll listen.

Abby: You forget about South Sudan, mister. You're not going anywhere.
Gibbs: Abby--
Abby: Don't Abby me. You collapsed in the squad room, Gibbs. What part of that is okay with you?
Gibbs: Were you there? I did not collapse.
Bishop: Yeah, you kind of did, Gibbs.
Gibbs: Aw swell. Where's DiNozzo? Where's McGee? Let's bring the whole gang in here.

Gibbs: I'll talk. I don't need my head examined.
Taft: Oh, no. Perish the thought. In which case, that leaves.....me?

Taft: What are you afraid of, Gibbs?
Gibbs: Nothing.
Taft: Cut the crap. Life threw you a major league curve. You get a lot of support but at the end of the day, when your head hits the pillow, it's just you. Admitting at least that much might be half the battle. Everybody's afraid of something. Even the great Leroy Jethro Gibbs.

Gibbs: Nice nails, Tim.
McGee: Thanks, boss. You know, Delilah said---
Gibbs: Of course! You can't say manicure without m-a-n.

Tony: Hey, McGee! Why don't you do the digging. That seems to be your specialty.
Gibbs: And ruin the manicure? That's not going to happen.

Gibbs: We're doing this the hard way.
Judith: I like the hard way.

Gibbs: How'd you find my house?
Osario: Former PD, remember? I could find a flea on a rat's anus.

Judith: What's in the basement?
Gibbs: Hey! None of your business! Come back here!
Judith: Is it your naughty room? Wanna know my safe word? Kielbasa.

Judith: It's been really nice talking to you, sunshine. I hope we get to do it again soon, just the two of us.
Gibbs: I'm asleep, right? This is a dream?
Judith: Close your eyes and keep dreaming. It gets better and better.

Bishop: Seven minutes. That's how close Jake came. 420 seconds. I could have lost him Gibbs.
Gibbs: But you didn't lose him, Ellie. Jake's safe and he's coming home. Everything's going to be all right.

McGee: That's actually really interesting what he was doing.
Tony: Not really, McNerd. What is interesting is that the fact that his CO says he's been divorced three times, has no friends or family that still talks to him.
Gibbs: Yeah.

NCIS Quotes

McGee: All right. Well you should probably know that Abby and I used to date?
Bishop: Ew. Like, each other?
McGee: Yeah.
Bishop: Wait - isn't that a violation of rule 12, never date a....
McGee: It was a long time ago. After we'd broken up, one night I went to her lab. Found a scribbled piece paper; a list. Potential boyfriends had to fulfill certain conditions by a pre-arranged date or else, goodbye.
Bishop: Such as.
McGee: Things started off relatively normal: opening the door for her, flowers, putting the seat down. Then around number 8, it gets uh...
Bishop: What?
McGee: Does she know you have these?
Bishop: Does she know you have these?
McGee: Yeah she wasn't happy when she found out.
Bishop: These are all very specific.
McGee: Yeah.
Bishop: These ideas apply to you?
McGee: No those rules weren't in place when we were together. At least I don't think so.
Bishop: What's with the two month cutoff? Abby's sabotaging herself. I've seen stuff like this before. We have to talk to her.

Tony: One other question, I know you're an expert in English history. And I was just wondering, have you ever heard of Archibald Drummond, the 17th Earl of Trent?
Ducky: The Earl of Trent. No, I can't say I have. Why?
Tony: I was just wondering. Thanks.