Leslie Knope Quotes
Tom: Do not miss tonight's April Ludgate birthday bash. 9 o'clock p.m. At the world famous Snakehole Lounge. The place the Pawnee Journal has called, "The sexiest, most dangerous club in town."
Leslie: That's not what they wrote.
Tom: Fine. I added the word sexiest. But, we've hired better security.
I just got to tell you I'm a little tired, so I may have parked on your front lawn.
Hey, Mark. It's Leslie. Change of plans. Can you call me back? Tom, get here. Call me. Bye. Hey, Leslie. It's Leslie. Hang in there. I love you. Bye.
Or get your tissues out if you're like me and think handkerchiefs are gross.
Ron: I suffer from a disorder called Sleep Fighting.
Leslie: Wow, must be terrible.
Ron: Only when I'm losing.
Leslie: So how are things going with you two?
April: They're going really well. We're gonna get married and I'm pregnant with his child.
Leslie: Yeah, it's exciting-
Joan: Cut the chatter. Telehosting? Not as easy as it looks, OK? This isn't C-SPAN. This is Local Access 46.
My nana, she used to say the best stuff. No work yourself into a lather. Look where it is and you'll find it. Don't put me in a home. Tell the truth and shame the devil. The devil knows where you're hiding. If you take enough rides with the devil pretty soon he's going to drive. She was really into the devil.
Ann: As a nurse and as your friend, I highly suggest you don't try to stay up for the next 24 hours.
Leslie: I can definitely do it. I've already been up for 24 hours.
Tom: Does Pawnee Cable Access even have hair and makeup?
Leslie: Well, they have a communal lipstick in a box of combs.
Leslie: You're never going to believe who I got. People are going to freak out.
Tom: Dr. Oz.
Leslie: Nope, you're never going to ask.
Tom: Justin Bieber.
Leslie: No. Ex-Indiana Pacer. Small forward Detlef Schrempf.
Tom: THE Detlef Schrempf?
Leslie: Can you get five eagles? No, get 10 eagles!
Leslie: No, you're right. It's your life. Give her as many eagles as you want.