Calm down, you're gonna spook the boob.

Manny: Bondi Beach is topless.
Luke: Thank you Trip Advisor.

C'mon we gotta go! That party's full of sophomores. Those women have lived.

He says the only tool you need is a sense of humor.

Luke: It's called growing up and having your own interests. Like the minister's daughter in your precious Footloose.
Phil: Wow, using my own movie against me. Let's hear it for the boy.

Phil: Remember the great Kevin Bacon on footloose?
Luke: More like Foot-loser.

Dad I was with you on the tight rope, I was your wingman at the wing eating competition, but I’m not feeling this one. You’re missing Christmas Eve.

Manny: You know what’s super helpful? When the guy in line behind you calls you Mount Sweatmore.
Luke: I was trying to relax you.

Phil: Who says people at the closet convention get all the fun?
Luke: No one, no one says that.

Well there was this girl on the 16-year-old team who wasn't wearing a bra, so that was cool.

You know, I've got problems of my own. I can't always be the lovable sidekick on the manny show. Did you even notice I'm binge eating?

For the record, I do all my own wiping.

Modern Family Quotes

By the way, do not look up peeing games on the internet.

Jay

You're the last person who should give me anything. You got me here. You got me to graduation, to Cal tech. You did it. You're done.

Alex