Calm down, you're gonna spook the boob.

Manny: Bondi Beach is topless.
Luke: Thank you Trip Advisor.

C'mon we gotta go! That party's full of sophomores. Those women have lived.

He says the only tool you need is a sense of humor.

Luke: It's called growing up and having your own interests. Like the minister's daughter in your precious Footloose.
Phil: Wow, using my own movie against me. Let's hear it for the boy.

Phil: Remember the great Kevin Bacon on footloose?
Luke: More like Foot-loser.

Dad I was with you on the tight rope, I was your wingman at the wing eating competition, but I’m not feeling this one. You’re missing Christmas Eve.

Manny: You know what’s super helpful? When the guy in line behind you calls you Mount Sweatmore.
Luke: I was trying to relax you.

Phil: Who says people at the closet convention get all the fun?
Luke: No one, no one says that.

Well there was this girl on the 16-year-old team who wasn't wearing a bra, so that was cool.

You know, I've got problems of my own. I can't always be the lovable sidekick on the manny show. Did you even notice I'm binge eating?

For the record, I do all my own wiping.

Modern Family Quotes

You can kiss my wife, you can take her to bed, but only I can make her laugh.

Phil

I never liked Spandau Ballet. Our entire marriage, I never once mentioned Spandau Ballet. Am I even pronouncing that right?

Phil