Modern Family

Wednesdays 9:00 PM on ABC
Modern family
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Manny: Does anyone care that I'm not from Mexico?
Luke: You keep saying that but we've never seen a birth certificate.

Manny: Luke I need you for this. You're sneakier than I am, you a bigger liar, you have no moral compass.
Luke: Look thanks for all the compliments, but breaking into one stupid party? That's not even a challenge.

Wake up Delgado, locked box, from Columbia, no more questions, it's obviously a human head.

Phil: It's not nerdy, Luke back me up.
Luke: I hope you mean into the garage because I have friend on this street.

Are you doing sex?

Dad we can always find cool stuff to do. Even if you're old in a wheelchair, I'll take you to the mall and push you as fast as you wanna go.

You are so mean. When he used to look through those binoculars and say your dad is one lucky man, he was wrong!

What? Like she'll be the first politician to make a promise she can't keep?!?

Social networking or social not-working?

Gloria [punches guy]: Nobody calls him grandpa!
Luke: I do.

It smells like puke married poop and they had the ceremony in my nose.

Luke: My mom hates messes.
Manny: I'm familiar with Claire.

Displaying quotes 25 - 36 of 86 in total

Modern Family Quotes

What could be more natural than your mother’s tongue in your ear?

Gloria

It's a body spray called Sex Grenade. One of the divorced dad's in the hotel recommended it.

Luke