Popular Lynette Scavo Quotes
Gabrielle: It's like my grandmother always said: An erect penis doesn't have a conscience.
Lynette: Even the limp ones aren't that ethical
Woman: Listen, it seems to me like you have some anger management issues.
Lynette: I have four kids under the age of six. I absolutely have anger management issues
I used to run a company with 85 people, and now I can't even wrangle two kids without doping them?
Susan: A guy just smiles at me three times and I'm picking out wedding china. I'm a mess.
Lynette: But to be fair, that's part of your charm
Lynette: You can tell them how beautifully behaved the twins are.
Bree: So you want me to lie?
Lynette: I thought that was understood
Lynette: Seriously, you're taking your kids' medication?
Jordana: Once in a while. Do you want a couple?
Lynette: Oh, that's very kind of you, but I just smoked some crack a little while ago, so I better not mix.
Woman: So, what did everybody think?
Lynette: I thought the character of Madame Bovary was ... very inspirational.
Woman: Inspirational? She poisons herself with arsenic.
Lynette: Really?
Woman: You didn't read until the end?
Lynette: I stopped after page 50.
Woman: Am I the only one who read the book?
Susan: I saw the movie. It was really good.
Woman: Ladies! I'm sorry, but wh-wh-what is the point of having a book club if we don't read the book?
Bree: Well I know that good help is hard to find but stealing a family's nanny is so unseemly!
Lynette: I'm not twisting anyone's arm. If I make a better offer, than why shouldn't a qualified person weave the benefits. So come on. Where can I score some high-grade nanny?
Edie: Crap! Crap! Crap! I'm telling you, all of the good dresses are taken. Well, what the hell am I supposed to wear?
Lynette: Well, Mrs. Huber never showed up. Why don't you wear this one?
Edie: This is an old lady dress. You won't even be able to see my body.
Lynette: That is so like you, Edie. You're always thinking of others
Lynette: So here's the thing. I feel really awful about how I acted before.
Tom: For god's sake, you threw me out of my own house.
Lynette: I overreacted, I'm sorry
Lynette: Are you sure you didn't misplace it? No offense, but you're getting up there in the years.
Mrs. McCluskey: No offense, but you should be sterilized
Lynette: Now listen to me, you are going to behave. I will not be humiliated in front of the entire neighborhood. And just so you know that I'm serious, I am. (She pulls out paper)
Porter: What's that?
Lynette: Santa's cell phone number!
Preston: How'd you get that?
Lynette: I know someone who knows someone who knows an elf. And if any of you acts up, so help me I will call Santa and tell him you want socks for Christmas! All right, are you willing to risk that!?
