Popular Lynette Scavo Quotes
Bree: So what are you saying, the twins killed Martha?
Lynette: Well, I wouldn't put it past them
Lynette: I don't get it. I don't get who would pay Maisy for sex.
Gabrielle: Obviously someone who is not getting it at home
Edie: I was just about to give a Maisy Gibbons update.
Lynette: Guys, we should be ashamed of ourselves for reveling in that woman's misery. That being said, Edie, please continue
Lynette: Tom, am I a bad person?
Tom: No, why would you say that?
Lynette: I don't know. I guess I just have it in my head that only bad people break up marriages and offend the handicapped.
Tom: Well, I did try to warn you.
Lynette: You did. Why do I do it? This compulsion to stick my nose where it doesn't belong. I mean...
Tom: You were just looking out for your friend.
Lynette: Yeah, a lot of good it did her.
Tom: At least you tried. I admire you for that.
Lynette: Oh, please.
Tom: Hey, I'm the guy who let Dennis badmouth his wife because I was afraid of making a scene. But you, you knew it was wrong and you let him have it.
Lynette: That's me. Never afraid to create a scene.
Tom: My point is you have a strong sense of what is right and you are not afraid to act on it and I admire you for that.
Lynette: You know what I admire you for? You find a way to compliment me when you could say "I told you so". (leans over and kisses Tom. Tom signs something to her) You just signed "I told you so", didn't you?
Tom: You'll never prove it
Tom: Lynette, the kids are getting older and they are getting smarter. Soon, they're going to realize that they outnumber us and, then...
Lynette: We're screwed.
Tom: Exactly
Edie: When I feel threatened by a woman, I pull her in, I make her my best friend.
Lynette: I thought you said you didn't have any female friends.
Edie: I don't. And I've never felt threatened by a woman either. But the point is, keep your friends close...
Lynette: ...Keep your enemies closer
Annabel: Yes, Tom and I were in love, but he married you. I'm not looking to break up a happy couple... anyway, that's certainly more your speed, isn't it?
Lynette: Watch your step. Tom and I are a team. Our marriage is rock solid. Nothing you ever do will ever break that up.
Annabel: Then why are you down here right now warning me?
Tom: What's that smell?
Lynette: Despair.
Tom: Oh. I thought it was waffles.
Karen: When Roy's spirits are drooping, the problem is global. You get the picture?
Lynette: Getting the picture isn't the problem. It's getting rid of it.
Carlos: You've got some admirers out there.
Lynette: Oh?
Carlos: Yeah, as you walked by, I heard one of them say, "check out the rack on that one."
Lynette: Aw... Can I do the honors and call security?
Tom: Remember last time you were pregnant with twins? Every part of you swelled up. It was like sleeping next to a body they dragged out of the river.
Lynette: You said I was beautiful.
Tom: I had to. You were twice my size.
Lynette: Now listen to me, you are going to behave. I will not be humiliated in front of the entire neighborhood. And just so you know that I'm serious, I am. (She pulls out paper)
Porter: What's that?
Lynette: Santa's cell phone number!
Preston: How'd you get that?
Lynette: I know someone who knows someone who knows an elf. And if any of you acts up, so help me I will call Santa and tell him you want socks for Christmas! All right, are you willing to risk that!?
