Popular Lynette Scavo Quotes
Lynette: (to Bree about Phyliss) Is she gonna be alright?
Bree (Gets up and smacks a sobbing Phyllis): She'll be fine. You were saying?
Lynette: And, the rat, you took it outside?
Tom: Oh no, I smashed it with a shovel.
Lynette: You killed it?
Tom: Not with the first hit.
Lynette: I've got this thing...
Nina: Good God, this is not about your kids again, is it?
Lynette: I know, I promised I wouldn't do this, but Parker really needs me to be there on his first day of kindergarten. He's so freaked out I can't be there.
Nina: I'm sorry. How is this my problem?
Lynette: Because we can't escape the fact that I have kids. I love my job, but to be fair, there's gotta be some balance.
Nina: Okay, how about the people that don't have the kids? Did you ever consider that they might need a little more balance in their lives, hmm? Like, maybe they want to go see a matinee or perhaps they want to come in a little late after a big crazy night out or maybe they just want to get a haircut, which I, myself, have not been able to do for two months. So, no, this is about fairness to the people who are childless by choice, okay?
Lynette: Okay. Good point. And I'm sorry about your hair. I can see why you're upset.
Lynette: I couldn't find Mrs. Mulberry's umbrella, so I brought her her sun hat instead, all right? And, here we go.
Parker: It's in the shower.
Lynette: What?
Parker: Mrs. Mulberry said she left it in the shower.
Lynette: Well, why didn't Mrs. Mulberry volunteer that information before I turned your room upside down looking for it, hmm?
Parker: (Pauses) So are you gonna go get it?
Lynette: No, I'm not going to get the damn umbrella!
Tom: Hey, what's wrong?
Lynette: (Crying) Because of me, my son's imaginary friend got crushed by a garbage truck. I am the worst person in the world.
Tom: Honey, he is gonna get over this in no time. Trust me. And one day, when he is all grown up, you and Parker are gonna laugh hysterically about this.
Lynette: You really think so? Really?
Tom: I promise.
Tom: What have you done to Mrs. Mulburry?
Lynette: Until there's a body, there's no evidence of a crime.
Parker: Daddy! I can't find Mrs. Mulburry's umbrella! Where is it?
Tom: Well, I don't know, sport. Honey, have you seen the umbrella?
Lynette: No.. can't say that I have...
Tom: OK, listen, don't worry about it. I'm sure Mrs. Mulburry's here somewhere.
Lynette: Or... huh...Maybe she's not. She could have... left. You know... maybe she had some other little boy she needed to help.
Parker: Like who?
Lynette: I don't know. It could be.... huh.. a little boy in... England. Named Spencer.
Tom: Lynette...?
Lynette: I mean... it is possible that someone like little Spencer needed Mrs. Mulburry more, 'cause... he doesn't have a daddy and a mommy, who love him. Yeah, that's it. He's an orphan!... with no hands!
Lynette: Tom, he attacked a teacher with an umbrella!
Tom: It was a poke, he poked her.
Lynette: I've got an important assignment for you.
Stu: Great. I'm really ready to take on more responsibility around here.
Lynette: Yeah, I applaud that, but what I need...is for you to help me prove a point to my husband.
Stu: Huh, you wanna make him jealous.
Lynette: Uh, no (chuckles). Actually (takes out some candy) I need you to kidnap my children!
Lynette: Nina, I think I speak for everyone here when I say we are sick and tired of your abuse. Frankly, you owe us an apology.
Nina: Is, is this true? I mean, I would be mortified if I thought that I hurt any of you. If anybody feels like I owe them an apology, please speak up. You? You? You? Gee, Lynette, I guess you were mistaken. All right, let's recap, shall we? Stinky pitch, working late, no apologies.
Pat: Lynette, I have Tom on line 2.
Lynette: Pat, I'm holding a baby hostage. I will call him back.
Lynette: Now listen to me, you are going to behave. I will not be humiliated in front of the entire neighborhood. And just so you know that I'm serious, I am. (She pulls out paper)
Porter: What's that?
Lynette: Santa's cell phone number!
Preston: How'd you get that?
Lynette: I know someone who knows someone who knows an elf. And if any of you acts up, so help me I will call Santa and tell him you want socks for Christmas! All right, are you willing to risk that!?
