Favorite Marshall Eriksen Quotes
Marshall: Well it's official. I'm going to be Judge Marshall Eriksen.
Ranjit: That is great. Can you help me get a driver's license?
Barney: A what?
Lily: We're not going to Italy.
Marshall: Of course we are. Lily we have to do this. You're gonna live in Rome and you're gonna get your dream because you're giving me mine, again.
Lily: Hey I'm just sitting here. Wearing my ring. Me beautiful ring. Kinda makes wearing other stuff seem wrong... my shirt. Kinda don't wanna wear my shirt any more. Or my underwear. Oh, that's right, I'm not wearing any.
Marshall: (Stops working and looks at Lily) No underwear?
Lily: Not even slightly.
Ted: Guys. Boundaries
Ted: Hey, don't you have a paper to write?
Marshall: Dude, you're talking to The Kid. I'm gonna knock back this beer. I'm gonna knock back one more beer. I'm gonna go home. I'm gonna write a 25-page paper. I'm gonna hand it in and I'm gonna get an A. My name is Rufus and that's the Trufus.
Older Ted: He got a B-, but still. 25 pages in one night? B-? The Kid was good
Marshall: A certain delicate flower cried all night in the shower.
Lily: And I was pretty bummed too.
Lily: Wow, you're cooking?
Marshall: Yes, I am.
Lily: Awww. Are you sure that's a good idea after last time? You looked really creepy without eyebrows
Barney: (After being slapped by Marshall) Your hands are monsterous.
Marshall: What did you expect? You've seen my penis.
Lily: Wow. A genuine Scherbatsky sighting out in nature. At this point, that's like seeing Sasquatch.
Marshall: No, Sasquatch is a warm and affectionate creature. At this point Robin's more like the yeti. Cold and aloof.
Come on, Spice Channel!
Ted: Wha...I don't get it! Why won't Robin tell me why she hates malls?
Barney: Ted, you should be happy Robin has a secret. The more you learn about a person, the better chance you have of hitting the fatal "Ohhh..." moment.
Marshall: The "Ohhh..." moment?
Barney: Yeah. That moment when you find out that one detail about a person that is going to be a deal-breaker
Marshall: Hi, we need a marriage license but we need to skip the waiting period because we're in love.
Clerk: Aaww..I'm gonna waive this waiting period right now!
Lily: Really!?
Clerk: Is what I would say if I could waive the waiting period but unfortunately only a judge can do that.
Lily: Oh, so can we see a judge?
Clerk: Absolutely!
Lily: Really?
Clerk: Is what I would say if there was any chance of you seeing a judge today, which there isn't.
Marshall: Why are you doing this to us?
Clerk: Because you're on ... Candid Camera!
Robin: Really?
Clerk: Is what I would say...
Marshall: You know what, we get it.
Machines are overrated and someone needs to take them down a peg.
