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How-i-met-your-mother

Marshall: So, Gatsby, what are you going to do when Robin shows up?
Ted: OK, I got it all planned out. She steps through the door, and where's Ted? Not eagerly waiting by the door. No, I'm across the room at my drafting table, showing some foxy young thing all my cool architecture stuff. So Robin strolls over and I casually give her one of these "Hey, what's up?" She says "Hey, nice place, et cetera, et cetera." And then I say "Well, make yourself at home" and I casually return to my conversation. Then, an hour later, "Oh, you're still here," I say, like I don't really care, but it's a nice surprise. And then, very casually, "Wanna see the roof?"

Ted: That's weird, I have a message.
Marshall: That's weird, you still have an answering machine.

Nobody wakes up and says "today I'm going to star in a YouTube video!"

Looks like Pocahontas has a couple of wounded knees.

Marshall: Oh you're wearing a flower.
Barney: Thank You!
Marshall: I didn't compliment, just observed.

Oh that's super interesting but you have a small penis.

Lily: We're doing it a lot.
Marshall: And everywhere. The kitchen, the bathroom, the living room, outside in your waiting - the kitchen.

Ted: Marshall...you up for some super-loud repetitive music that hasn't changed since the mid-90's?
Marshall: Um...only always

It's not that the wings are too hot, it's that I already had wings earlier. Much earlier.

Old Marshall

Marshall: Ted, I love you buddy, but there is no way you can pull off blonde.
Lily: Seriously, Ted, don't do it.
Ted: I'm going blonde!
Lily: Awwww.
Marshall: That is NOT the outcome we were hoping for.

Ted, I don't want to swear in front of Korean Elvis, but what the bleep are you doing, dude?

Backgammon sucks. I took the only good part of backgammon, the gammon, and I left the rest of it in the trash where it belongs

Marshall
Displaying quotes 25 - 36 of 327 in total

HIMYM Quotes

You are the love of my life. Everything I have and everything I am is yours. Forever.

Barney

Whatever you do in this life, it's not legendary, unless your friends are there to see it.

Barney
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