Marshall: So, Gatsby, what are you going to do when Robin shows up?
Ted: OK, I got it all planned out. She steps through the door, and where's Ted? Not eagerly waiting by the door. No, I'm across the room at my drafting table, showing some foxy young thing all my cool architecture stuff. So Robin strolls over and I casually give her one of these "Hey, what's up?" She says "Hey, nice place, et cetera, et cetera." And then I say "Well, make yourself at home" and I casually return to my conversation. Then, an hour later, "Oh, you're still here," I say, like I don't really care, but it's a nice surprise. And then, very casually, "Wanna see the roof?"

Nobody wakes up and says "today I'm going to star in a YouTube video!"

Lily: We're doing it a lot.
Marshall: And everywhere. The kitchen, the bathroom, the living room, outside in your waiting - the kitchen.

Oh that's super interesting but you have a small penis.

Looks like Pocahontas has a couple of wounded knees.

Marshall: Oh you're wearing a flower.
Barney: Thank You!
Marshall: I didn't compliment, just observed.

Ted: up for some super-loud repetitive music that hasn't changed since the mid-90's?
Marshall: Um...only always

It's not that the wings are too hot, it's that I already had wings earlier. Much earlier.

Old Marshall

Marshall: Ted, I love you buddy, but there is no way you can pull off blonde.
Lily: Seriously, Ted, don't do it.
Ted: I'm going blonde!
Lily: Awwww.
Marshall: That is NOT the outcome we were hoping for.

Marshall: Oh, poor me. I get to order yummy pink drinks with chunks of real fruit that guys secretly like but can't order because they'll be made fun of.
Ted: Dude
Marshall: They're delicious!

Ted, I don't want to swear in front of Korean Elvis, but what the bleep are you doing, dude?

Ted: They're killing each other!
Lily: They love each other.
Ted: Barney and Robin love each other, but they're not Barney and Robin anymore. They're the fat guy and the old lady.
Marshall: My favorite '70s detective show!

HIMYM Quotes

You are the love of my life. Everything I have and everything I am is yours. Forever.


Whatever you do in this life, it's not legendary, unless your friends are there to see it.