Favorite Marshall Eriksen Quotes
Oh that's super interesting but you have a small penis.
Oh honey you're very pretty, but you're freakishly tall and don't believe in ghosts
Marshall: So, Gatsby, what are you going to do when Robin shows up?
Ted: OK, I got it all planned out. She steps through the door, and where's Ted? Not eagerly waiting by the door. No, I'm across the room at my drafting table, showing some foxy young thing all my cool architecture stuff. So Robin strolls over and I casually give her one of these "Hey, what's up?" She says "Hey, nice place, et cetera, et cetera." And then I say "Well, make yourself at home" and I casually return to my conversation. Then, an hour later, "Oh, you're still here," I say, like I don't really care, but it's a nice surprise. And then, very casually, "Wanna see the roof?"
Nobody wakes up and says "today I'm going to star in a YouTube video!"
Lily: We're doing it a lot.
Marshall: And everywhere. The kitchen, the bathroom, the living room, outside in your waiting - the kitchen.
Looks like Pocahontas has a couple of wounded knees.
Marshall: Oh you're wearing a flower.
Barney: Thank You!
Marshall: I didn't compliment, just observed.
Marshall: Ted, I love you buddy, but there is no way you can pull off blonde.
Lily: Seriously, Ted, don't do it.
Ted: I'm going blonde!
Lily: Awwww.
Marshall: That is NOT the outcome we were hoping for.
Ted, I don't want to swear in front of Korean Elvis, but what the bleep are you doing, dude?
It's not that the wings are too hot, it's that I already had wings earlier. Much earlier.
Old Marshall
Baby these satin sheets are slippery. Papa needs traction.
Backgammon sucks. I took the only good part of backgammon, the gammon, and I left the rest of it in the trash where it belongs
Marshall
