Favorite Marshall Eriksen Quotes
Barney: We couldn't go back for Natalya, a human being, but we do have time for hot dogs?
Marshall: Yeah, we like hot dogs
Marshall: This is not that uncommon! You know, in Thailand, in China, in Costa Rica, and in many other places where monkey crime is an extremely common occurrence, their social dynamics are predicated upon stealing!
Lily: You got mugged by a monkey!
Marshall: Ted, how do I explain this to you. Last night, I ate the best cake of my life. Do you think I'm gonna let that cake out of my life? Hell, no. I'm gonna find out what bakery made that cake and I'm gonna get some more cake.
Ted: That cake really got to you?
Marshall: It haunts me.
Marshall: If Lily died, I could ride the tricycle.
Lily: If I died, I'd just come back and haunt your penis.
Barney: Did the robber have five o'clock shadow and a ski cap?
Marshall: Yes, because I was robbed in 1947 at the corner of Abbott and Costello.
Lily [about Canadian sex acts]: How do you know all these?
Barney: Canadiansexacts.org. It's bookmarked on the top right.
Marshal: Dot org?
Barney: Yeah, it's not for profit. They really just want to get the information out there
Can't we just let the guy be black for a day?
Eriksen men are hella fertile.
Who wants a party hat? Look I'm a bird! Let's all be birds!
Ted: It's Sunday! It's Pancakes day!
Marshall: Lily always made the pancakes. God I loved her pancakes. So soft. So warm. So perfectly shaped.
Ted: Are we still talking about her pancakes? ...C'mon, you gotta eat something. What can I get you?
Marshall: Beer.
Ted: No, that's what you had for dinner.
Marshall: Fine! I'll just have leftovers.
[Marshall pulls half-drunk beer out of couch]
Ted: I never said I was gonna get back together with her. But I was thinking, she's new in town, would it be the worst thing in the world if I gave her a call?
Marshall: No, no, Ted, it wouldn't be the worst thing in the world. It would be the fourth worst thing. Number one, supervolcano. Number two, an asteroid hits the earth. Number three, all footage of Evil Knievel is lost. Number four, Ted calls Karen. Number five, Lily gets eaten by a shark.
Lily: I'm Lily and I approve the order of that list.
Barney: I've got five tickets to Robots vs. Wrestlers!
Ted: That is awesome!
Barney: You've heard of Robots vs. Wrestlers?
Marshall: Not at all!
Ted: But we're assuming it's some sort of sporting event putting robots ... against wrestlers!
Barney: That's exactly what it is!
