Martin Prince Quotes
Martin: Let me go. I have a swim lesson with a gorgeous lifeguard.
Dolph: What gender?
Martin: You're not allowed to ask.
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Who could have shoved eggs up our brass?
- Permalink: Who could have shoved eggs up our brass?
Bart: To sweeten the deal, I'll pick you first for basketball.
Martin: To be a mathlete without the 'm.'
- Permalink: To sweeten the deal, I'll pick you first for basketball. To be...
Martin: Individually we are weak, like a single twig. But as a bundle, we form a mighty faggot.
Bart: Well said!
(After Martin's line, a title appears: faggot (fag et) n. a bundle of sticks for fuel. [Fr. fagot, a bundle of sticks]
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(Martin and Lisa are excavating for arrowheads.)
Martin: Care to make it a trio, Bart? You can brush and I can blow.
Bart: Well, I agree you blow.
Martin: Then it's a plan!
Bart: A lot of people blow, but no one blows like you.
Martin: High praise indeed!
Bart: When you look up "blow" in the dictionary--
Lisa: Bart, he's not gonna get it.
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(Comic Book Guy has just noticed a new comic store that has opened up across the street.)
Comic Book Guy: Philip K Dick! It can't be! It's as if Superman moved to Gotham City!
Martin: Which he did, in World's Finest Comics #94. (Points to the comic.) See?
Comic Book Guy: That was an imaginary story, dreamt by Jimmy Olsen after he was kicked in the head by Supergirl's horse, Comet. It never really happened.
Bart: None of these things ever really happened.
Comic Book Guy: Get out of my store.
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Bart: Boys and girls, Mrs. Krabappel, I come before you today to solve a riddle that has plagued mankind for centuries: What has four legs and ticks?
Milhouse: A walking clock?
Nelson: A walking clock!
Martin: I'd wager he has some variety of walking clock in that box!
Edna: Bart, is it a walking clock?
Bart: What?.....No, it's my dog.
- Permalink: What has four legs and ticks? A walking clock? A walking clo...
My water dish is empty...
- Permalink: My water dish is empty...
Man #1: I need one twenty-nine-cent stamp.
Apu: That's a dollar-eighty-five.
Man #2: I'll have two dollars worth of gas.
Martin: How much is your penny candy?
Apu: Surprisingly expensive!
- Permalink: I need one twenty-nine-cent stamp. That's a dollar-eighty-five...