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If I got that card, we'd be in the bathroom doing it right now.
- Permalink: If I got that card, we'd be in the bathroom doing it right now.
Yeah, I have this thing about men cutting or threatening to cut my throat. Don't try to cut my throat!
- Permalink: I don't like it when men try to cut my throat... don't cut my th...
Talk about vacation daaaays!
- Permalink: Talk about vacation daaaays!
Jim: Wait. We haven't gone under. We've been sold. That could mean many different things.
Michael: It's hard for me to imagine a scenario in which Meredith Palmer keeps her job and David Wallace does not. No offense Meredith.
Meredith: No, I get it.
- Permalink: Wait. We haven't gone under. We've been sold. That could mean ma...
Jim: I'm just gonna skip the what and go right to why.
Michael: Because this is the recreation of a crime scene!
Meredith: I'm the dead body and these are my brain chunks.
Dwight: Shut up, you're dead.
- Permalink: I'm just gonna skip the what and go right to why. Because this...
Hey everybody, he's not in the men's room. Although the seat was warm, so we may have just missed him.
- Permalink: Hey everybody, he's not in the men's room. Although the seat was...
Michael: Who here has been the but of a joke that has gone too far? Phyllis.
Phyllis: Michael you make fun of us everyday.
Kevin: Yeah. Every single day.
Michael: Uh, you never said anything.
Meredith: Uh, we have. Countless times.
Michael: Well it is hard to tell the difference between you guys saying "Stop! Because I want you to stop" and "Stop!" as in "Stop you're making making me laugh so hard. What you're doing is so funny. You are on a roll I am a busting a gut. Stoppp!"
Angela: That's never been the case.
- Permalink: Who here has been the but of a joke that has gone too far? Phyll...
Michael: Any messages?
Erin: You're soaking wet.
Michael: Jim and I got caught in a little flash... rain. Flash winds, flash lightning.
Phyllis: Wow. Sounds scary.
Michael: It was. It was. And then in an instant, it wasn't!
Angela: Why isn't Jim wet?
Jim: I... outran it.
Meredith: I don't think it rained. My hip would be throbbing.
Michael: It rained.
Dwight: Michael, can I get you something? A towel, some cocoa?
Michael Scott: Nothing. Cocoa.
- Permalink: Any messages? You're soaking wet. Jim and I got caught in a ...
Michael: What topics, can you use for small talk?
Andy: Golf, stock market, Dave Matthews-
Michael: Yes, what else?
Creed: Small things. Peas, ball bearings, dimes.
Meredith: The weekend.
Michael: Yeah! That's good! Come on up, Meredith. Come up here. Let's do a little something. So Meredith and I just started conversing, and I will say, "so Meredith, how was your weekend? What did you do?"
Meredith: Well I caught my son taking a dump on the upper-part of the toilet... he calls it an "upper decker."
- Permalink: What topics, can you use for small talk? Golf, stock market, D...
All morning I look forward to my afternoon cigar and I'm not stopping for anybody.
- Permalink: All morning I look forward to my afternoon cigar and I'm not sto...
Kevin: What does a bean mean?
Pam: Why aren't there any beans on this very old, frizzy-haired picture of me?
Kevin: Michael, what does a bean mean.
Jim: I was just trying to be unbiased.
Kevin: WHAT DOES A BEAN MEAN.
Oscar: Would someone please explain to Kevin?
Meredith: Why can't you? My time is just as valuable as yours.
Phyllis: Not according to the beans.
- Permalink: What does a bean mean? Why aren't there any beans on this very...
My kid needs shoes! You wanna tell him he doesn't get shoes!?
- Permalink: My kid needs shoes! You wanna tell him he doesn't get shoes!?