Michael Bluth Quotes
George Sr.: I haven't had sex in a month.
Michael: You know, you've been here two months.
(Pause)
George Sr.: It's hard to gauge time.
Michael: Yeah. I'll bet.
Kitty: Your wife's on line one.
Narrator: Michael's wife had been dead for two years.
Michael: My what?
Narrator: Kitty realized her mistake.
Kitty: I said, 'your wife is on line one.'
Narrator: But not immediately.
Gob: I *bleep* Kitty!
Michael: Oh, Gob! I just wanted you to get the information.
Gob: I got the information.
Michael: You did, huh? About the international accounts?
Gob: Oh, I see what you're getting at. No, I didn't get any information.
Michael: Hey, Busty, have you been using Dad's car?
Buster: No ... Well, yes.
(Michael asks the woman he thinks is Lucille's housekeeper where she is going)
Woman: Yo ... Scared-o.
Michael: Izquierdo ... I know that word. Left turn it is, missus!
I mean, I guess it would just be a guy who you know, grabs bananas and runs. Or, um, a banana that grabs things. I don't know why. Why would a banana grab another banana? I mean, those are the kind of questions I don't want to answer.
George Sr.: I'm under a lot of pressure here. I'm trying to get my newsletter off the ground. I'm trying to decide which gang to align myself with.
Michael: Is it pledge week already?
George Sr.: I've got it down to two. But honestly, I don't even want to choose. I just feel... I feel like the prettiest girl at the dance.
Michael: Come on, face it. You just do all this charity crap just to stroke your ego. You don't even know what the auction's for tonight.
Lindsay: The wetlands.
Michael: To do what with them?
Lindsay: Dry them.
Michael: Save them.
Michael: (on the phone with Lindsay, after he had said she was uncharitable) Hello?
Lindsay: I'm in the wetlands. I've got a poker thing and I'm going to clean them up. So, the next time you wanna tell me that I'm uncharitable, why don't you just ask yourself, who called you from the wetlands?
Michael: Who is this?
Lindsay: Nice try. You're the selfish one. Now, if you'll excuse me, I've got some nature to save.
(Lindsay hits the ground with her 'poker', and a frog makes a croaking sound)
Lindsay: (Lindsay gasps) AAAAH!
Michael: Hey, I can't believe you. I asked you two weeks ago whether we should use Dad's car, and you said it would be bad form. Now, I hear you're driving it!
Gob: That is a lie. A bald-faced lie.
Narrator: Gob was lying. He had been driving his father's car.
Lindsay: What car? I don't know what you're talking about.
Michael: Dad's car. The one you didn't tell me that you had, even though I had to ride my bicycle to work all week.
Lindsay: Oh, Dad's car. Well, obviously, I'm going to use it if it's an emergency.
Narrator: Lindsay had such an emergency three days earlier when her salon was able to squeeze her in at the last moment.
Michael: I don't do anything for myself. Everything that I do is for this family.
Lindsay: Oh, you don't do it for us, Michael. You just do it because you love being the guy in charge. 'Cause you love saying no. Like you said to Gob when he wanted a frozen banana. And even after he gave you the rights to his "Mr. Banana-Grabber" character.
