Favorite Michael Scott Quotes
He leaves work, he's on his way home. WHAM, his capa is detated from his head!
Michael
If she's engaged, I'm going to go crazy, and I'm going to start attacking people. If she's not engaged, in all honesty, I might just burn this whole place down to the ground out of happiness. Either way I am going to need some talking down, and nobody talks me down like myself in a video talking me down.
Toby is the instruction card you throw away.
Jim: Dwight tried to kiss me.
Michael: What?
Jim: And I didn't tell anyone, 'cause I'm not really sure how I feel about it.
Dwight: That is not true. Redact it. Redact it!
Jim: Well, I'm not actually making a formal complaint. I just really think we should talk about it.
You know what? Christmas isn't about Santa. Or Jesus. It's about the workplace. All of you feel like my family. Ryan, you are my son. Pam, you are my wife. Jim ... Angela and Phyllis, you are my grandmas. Stanley, you are ... our mailman. I can't help but look at your wonderful beautiful faces and wonder, how they could do this to us!
Doctor: Does the area look red and swollen?
Dwight: That's what she said.
Michael: That's my joke — dammit, Dwight!
Dwight: Heyy! Jimmy, what's up?
Jim: Not much.
Dwight: Cool! Very cool. I bet if you tried, you could grow the best beard of anyone in this office!
Jim: Thanks Dwight.
Dwight: That laugh is so infectious!
Michael: Creepin' me out. I'm gonna go.
Dwight: I didn't mean any of those things I just said.
Michael: You know who my favorite character in Toy Story is? Andy's mom.
Holly: Why?
Michael: Because without Andy's mom there's no plot, and without any plot there is no movie.
That could have gone one of two ways. But I never expected her to get upset.
Michael: They're men, Dwight.
Dwight: I love finding a good set of twins.
Michael: This year's "Busiest Beaver" award goes to Phyllis Lapin!
Phyllis: This says "Bushiest Beaver."
Michael: I told them "Busiest"... idiots.
Michael: People I respect, heroes of mine, would be: Bob Hope, um, Abraham Lincoln, definitely, Bono...uh, and probably God would be the fourth one. And, I just think all those people really, uh, helped the world in so many ways, that it's, um, it's really beyond words. It's really "incalculcable."
