Favorite Mike Delfino Quotes
Mike: I'm trying to find Zach before he gets into anymore trouble. Do you know any friends that he might have? Anywhere he might be hold up? I know you were close to him.
Felicia: Funny thing... since he beat me and threw me down the stairs, we just don't stay in touch like we should.
Mike: I've got a question for ya.
Susan: Sure, go ahead...
Mike: Where are we now?
Susan: Where are we?
Mike: Yeah...we're not moving in together we're not broken up so, where are we?
Susan: I dont know...
Susan: You remember that cop from the neighborhood watch meeting the other night? He agreed to run a fingerprint check on the screwdriver I found at Mrs Fromme's house.
Mike: He did? Nothing was taken.
Susan: Still, somebody broke in, it is a crime. So the weird thing is, the cop asked me out. On a date.
Mike: Oh?
Susan: And I sort of said...yes. I was sort of curious what you thought about that.
Mike: You're asking my permission to go out with him?
Susan: No, no. I just uh, was wondering your opinion.
Mike: I don't really have one.
Susan: Okay. Great. Fine. Thank you.
Mike: Susan, wait. Wait. I'm sorry. My life its just ah, really complicated right now-
Susan: You don't have to explain.
Mike: Susan!
Susan: It's complicated. I get it
Mike: Honey, let her have her lies. Let her plot. You got nothing to worry about. You mean everything to me and Katherine means nothing.
Susan: Well, that's sweet. I'm gonna go tell her you said that.
Susan: You're always worried about Julie and me and you beat up my new boyfriend. And now you're protecting me from Edie. Do you know what all that means?
Mike: That you're high maintenance?
Susan: Thanks for helping me break in. Do you think it's gonna be hard to replace that screen?
Mike: Well that depends. Nail it in yourself, you might wanna wear gloves. Or pants. Pants wouldn't hurt.
Susan: Okay. I know what just happened is funny, in theory, but I am nowhere near ready to laugh about it. So please, no jokes.
Bree: Hey, where've you been?
Mike: Um, Susan had a problem finding something to wear. Oh, was that the kinda thing you meant?
Susan: Pretty much
Mike: Actually, he was my wife's dog and one of the last things she said to me in the hospital before she died was to be sure I looked after him and I promised her I would.
Mary Alice [narrating]: And just like that Susan could suddenly see something she had never seen before.
Mike: He meant so much to her.
Mary Alice: Mike Delfino was still in love with his late wife.
Mike: And if something had happened I would have felt like I failed her. I know that sounds stupid but-
Mary Alice: And she knew right then that neither she nor Edie would be laying claim to his heart anytime soon.
Susan: No it doesn't. Not at all.
Mary Alice: So she decided, for now, she could settle for just being his friend
(At Mike's place after Oliver has played the tape of Karl and Susan talking)
Susan: Okay, ahm, first of all it was not the best sex I ever had. I just said that to make him feel better. Obviously, you are the best sex I ever had.
Oliver: That explains the punch in the face.
Mike: I'm gonna hit you again if you don't shut up.
Susan: I know that this looks bad-
Mike: You were actually fooling around with Karl behind Edie's back.
Susan: No, no, no. No, Karl lied to me. He told me that he and Edie had split up before-
Mike: You know what? I don't even care.
Susan: I've never stopped caring about you.
Mike: Then why did you jump in bed with Karl?
Susan: I would have never even gone there if I thought there was a chance with us. You just closed the door so completely, I- Can we just not talk about him? Have some more pie. (She feeds him) I know you like pie. I know you like me.
Mike: You know, I retract my earlier statement. I no longer love you. In fact, I just think of you as a really good buddy.
Susan: No. No, no, no. You obviously think you have some insight into my soul, so please, go ahead, dazzle me.
Mike: Your divorce left you hurt and vulnerable.
Susan: Big insight. The postman knows that.
Mike: You're just gonna have to let this go.
Felicia: Sounds to me that there's someone let go from his rage!
Mike: Maybe I have.
Felicia: But I haven't!
Susan: Listen, Mike, about the whole "seeing me naked" thing. I just wanna thank you for being such a perfect gentleman.
Mike: Oh, I wasn't a prefect gentleman, I might've snuck a peek.
Susan: Oh, goodnight.
Mike: And for what it's worth, wow
