Popular Mike Delfino Quotes
Karl: What the hell is this?
Susan: Karl, what do you want?
Karl: Well, I can't believe you're forcing our daughter to live in a house with wheels. I think we need to talk about this.
Susan: It's temporary, and if you don't mind, I'm having coffee
Mike: Oh, it's okay, Susan.
Karl: Hey, sorry. I don't mean to chase you out, buddy, but, uh, this is really a family thing.
Mike: No, no, I understand.
Karl: Cool.
Mike: You know, I had the feeling when I first saw you in the movie theater that we'd met before.
Orson: I don't think so.
Mike: Oh, I'm pretty sure. I think I know you. Any chance I was one of your guinea pigs?
Orson: No, the only prison work I did was back in Virginia.
Mike: Diploma says you graduated from Minnesota.
Orson: I'm licensed in three states. Open wide, please. Don't talk. I wouldn't want to hurt you.
Edie: Ah, here's the picture that you took of me in my bikini at that pool party. You could've warned me I was showing a little nip. Oh, Susan Mayer. Remember her?
Mike: Yeah. She's pretty.
Edie: Yeah, she is, sort of, in this picture. Is there a date on this thing?
Mike: The nurses said that she visited me a lot. We were close, huh?
Edie: You have just come out of a coma. Can we not talk about Susan till you start to regain your strength?
Mike: Why?
Edie: Oh, God. I hate to be the one telling you this.
Mike: Well, if you don't want to...
Edie: That tramp treated you like dirt. She strung you along. She slept with other guys. You broke up with her twice.
Mike: Well, why did she keep visiting me when I was out of it?
Edie: Well, she's a bit of a stalker. I was worried that she was gonna come in here and disconnect one of the tubes or something. But don't worry. She's glommed on to some new guy, and she's up in the mountains at his place with him right now.
Mike: Wow. She told the nurses that she really loved me?
Edie: That's the one thing about Susan that you must not forget. She is a liar.
(After Susan trips over the curbstone)
Mike: You do that a lot, don't you?
Susan: Well, yeah, I've been known to take a spill or two, but, you know, my doctor says it's an inner ear - wait, you remember that?
Mike: Yeah, I think I do.
Susan: Yes! That's progress! See? Oh, it's all gonna come back. We're gonna be us again!
Mike: But what about the British guy?
Susan: Mike, I don't know what Edie's been telling you, but Ian and I, we're just friends.
Mike: Just friends?
Susan: Yeah. Now. Look, you gotta understand. The doctors were telling me that you would probably never wake up, and I just needed somebody to talk to.
Mike: And that's what you were doing in the country, talking?
(Susan has taken Mike to Wisteria Lane)
Mike: This is pointless, I, I'm sorry, I can't - I don't remember being with you.
Susan: Okay, I know it's hard but you gotta make an effort. You know, if your head is a little foggy then don't look there. Look in your heart, because I'm in there just like you're inside mine.
Mike: Edie, what were we like together, before the accident?
Edie: What do you mean?
Mike: You know, were we close?
Edie: Honestly? We lived about fifteen feet from each other, and you barely knew that I existed.
Mike: Seriously?
Edie: Mm-hmm. It's true. I mean, you weren't rude or anything. We'd wave or exchange hellos as we went to get our mail, but you never really looked at me. Not really. I, I was just another neighbor to you.
Mike: But if we weren't friends, then why are you here every day helping me?
Edie: Because from the first moment I laid eyes on you, I sort of fell in love with you.
Mike: Oh.
Edie: Yeah. And I'm not telling you this because I expect anything, so you can just relax, OK?
Mike: OK.
Edie: But when you do come back home, and we do run into each other when we're getting our mail, I'd really appreciate it if you'd just look at me. That's all.
Mike: I'm looking at you now.
(He pulls her toward him and they begin to kiss.)
(Edie and Mike talk through the bars of his cell.)
Mike: I'm gonna need a good lawyer. And that may take a little research.
Edie: Uh huh.
Mike: And whoever takes my case will need a retainer. So if you don't mind, I promise I'll pay you back.
Edie: Oh, okay.
Mike: And make sure he knows about my wrench. Apparently, they tested it and found traces of Monique's blood. What's wrong?
Edie: I don't know if you picked up on this, Mike, but...I haven't been happy.
Mike: No, I didn't pick up on it.
Edie: Well, I wanted to tell you this weeks ago, and I wish that I had, because now I know you're gonna think that I'm breaking up with you over this whole blood on the ax thing.
Mike: Wrench.
Edie: Whatever. But believe me, that's not it. It's just...we are moving too fast.
Mike: What are you trying to say?
Edie: Well, maybe we should just take a break. You know, date other people.
Mike: You're telling me this on the day I'm put in a men's prison?
Edie: Well, I said the timing was bad. I am sorry. I, I really am. I just can't do this.
(Mike is pacing in his cell when Susan comes up to him.)
Mike: They told me somebody was coming, but I did not expect it to be you.
Susan: Is Edie getting you a good lawyer?
Mike: I doubt it. She dumped me today.
Susan: What? Why?
Mike: Well, I was arrested for murder.
Susan: Still, it's tacky. Well, okay then, uh...I'll help you get out. Uh, what's your bail?
Mike: A million dollars.
Susan: Oh.
Mike: You don't have to help me, Susan.
Susan: I want to.
Mike: Aren't you gonna ask?
Susan: What?
Mike: If I killed that woman?
Susan: I don't have to. I know you didn't.
Mike: I wish I was that sure. I, I have these flashes, where I see her face, so I must've known her. And if I did, maybe something happened. Maybe I got angry, maybe...
Susan: There is an explanation for this, and we're gonna figure it out. Don't worry about a thing.
(She strokes his hand through the bars of his cell.)
Susan: Is Edie getting you a good lawyer?
Mike: I doubt it. She dumped me today.
Susan: What? Why?
Mike: Well, I was arrested for murder.
Susan: Still. It's tacky.
Mike: I can't believe that I just listened to all that stuff Edie told me about you. It turns out you're the only one standing by me. You're a good friend, Susan.
Susan: Ahm, yeah, about that. It's Ian. He's not crazy about me spending time with my ex.
Mike: Even an ex who doesn't remember dating you?
Susan: I remember, and I guess that's enough for him. I'm sorry.
Mike: Well, I can't say that I blame him.
Susan: (reaching out her hand to him) Take care of yourself Mke.
Mike: You too, Susan.
Mike: Hey, Susan.
Susan: Hey, you're back.
Mike: Yeah, Zach Young posted my bail. But I'm guessing you had something to do with it.
Susan: Maybe a little.
Mike: Is there any way I can thank you for everything you've done?
Susan: Actually, yeah, there is.
Mike: Good, good, just tell me.
Susan: I can't see you anymore. I want you to understand it doesn't have anything to do with you, it's just-
Mike: (disheveled) That's okay, ahm, I think I get it. (They see Ian's car pulling up) Well, I must probably go.
Paul: Zach is all I have left in the world. Through everything that's happened, I've never stopped loving him. Can you please get him to come down here to see me?
Mike: That's one hell of a favor. Man, you have some nerve.
Paul: I know, it's kind of what got me in here.
