The Simpsons
Sundays 8:00 PM on FOXPopular Milhouse Van Houten Quotes
Dr. Pryor: Here's your scientifically selected career.
Janey: Architect.
Kid: Insurance salesman,
Ralph: Salmon gutter?
Milhouse: Military strongman.
Martin: Systems analyst. Systems analyst.
Dr. Pryor: Systems analyst.
Martin: All right!
Lisa: Homemaker?
Dr. Pryor: Mm-hm. It's like a mommy.
Bart: Police officer? Well, I'll be jiggered.
Bart: Hey, Milhouse, cool jacket!
Milhouse: It cost me 50,000 Bazooka Joe comics!
Bart: Mom, I wanna be a rockstar.
Marge: Hmmmmm we'll discuss it later. Is Milhouse okay?
Homer: Uh, I'll be right back....
Milhouse: Heeeelp.
Bart: Milhouse, we're living at the age of cooties. I can't believe the risk you're running. Besides, what's so great about kissing?
Milhouse: Bart it's just not the kissing a lot of it is waiting to kiss you know like when you open an Eskimo Pie and you wait just a little bit for it to melt?
Bart: But she doesn't melt.
Milhouse: Oh, yes she does.
Bart: Hey, what's with the skirt?
Milhouse: I've brought friends to this tree house before.
Bart: Yeah, but never a girl. What if I want to strut around nude?
How could this happen? We started out like Romeo and Juliet but it ended up in tragedy!
Milhouse: Uh, that's a nice dress.
Samantha: My dad makes me wear it, I hate it!
Milhouse: Well I hate it too!
Milhouse: Let me try! Will I get beat up today? ... All signs point to yes
Nelson: That ball knows everything. *punch*
After that fateful day I could never even look at Eliza again. It didn't help that the next day he drank bad well water and went blind.
Mr. Black: Now I must tell you kids Krusty has laryngitis and a bad back so he won't be saying anything or doing anything.
Milhouse: Krusty looks fat.
Lisa: He's really having trouble keeping his balance.
Ralph: He's still funny, but not ha-ha funny.
Mr. Black: I'll take any questions you might have... you? And then uum.... one more.
Milhouse: Can we call you Uncle Blackie?
Mr. Black: No.. last question...
Nelson [about the school's ancient computer]: My stroked out grandfather has more memory tha that thing
Milhouse: How's he doing?
Nelson: Better, thanks
