The Simpsons
Sundays 8:00 PM on FOXPopular Milhouse Van Houten Quotes
How could Mrs. Krabappel take my cell phone? I'm only on month one of a sixty month plan
Milhouse: Maybe we can find an answer in this bookstore
Bart: Book stores don't have answers, the just have creepy guys sitting in easy chairs at the end of aisle ways
First girls ruin Sex and the City, now this.
Bart: Poor Krusty. He's become the lowest form of life, a sidekick.
Milhouse: You said it, Bart. Way to sum up the situation.
Bart: Take it easy, buddy.
Milhouse: That's exactly how I'll take it.
Milhouse: Get a load of that quote-unquote Santa.
Lewis: I can't believe those kids are falling for it.
Bart: Hey, Milhouse, I dare you to sit on his lap.
Milhouse: Oh, yeah. Well I dare you to yank his beard off.
Bart: Ah, touché.
Bart: Okay, we all know why we're here, right?
Milhouse: No, why?
Bart: To fight Nelson, the bully. That guy has been tormenting all of us for years, and I for one am sick of it! I can't promise you victory. I can't promise you good times. But the one thing I do know--
(All the boys file out.)
Bart: Whoa! Whoa! I promise you victory! I promise you good times!
Milhouse: Will there be cavemen in heaven?
Sunday School Teacher: Certainly not!
Bart: Um, ma'am, what if you're a really good person, but you get into a really, really bad fight and your leg gets gangrene and it has to be amputated. Will it be waiting for you in heaven?
Sunday School Teacher: For the last time, Bart, yes!
Milhouse: Come on, Bart. You're gonna make me a print, aren't you?
Bart: Will you swear not to let another living soul get a copy of this photo?
Milhouse: Okay!
Bart: Cross your heart and hope to die?
Milhouse: Yep!
Bart: Stick a needle in your eye?
Milhouse: Yep!
Bart: Jam a dagger in your thigh?
Milhouse: Yep!
Bart: Eat a horse manure pie?
Milhouse: (Thinks for a second) Yep!
Bart: Well, okay.
(Bart holds a cherry bomb in his hand.)
Milhouse: So, you're gonna flush it?
Bart: What can I say? I got a weakness for the classics
(Bart and Milhouse say goodbye, as Bart is headed off to Capital City.)
Milhouse: I don't know, Bart. I mean, I'm gonna miss you and all, but--
Bart: Come on, Milhouse. This way we'll be friends forever.
Milhouse: Wellokay.
(Bart and Milhouse spit on each other's hands and shake.)
Bart and Milhouse: (In unison) Eeeew!
Bart: I'm gonna miss you, spit brother.
Milhouse: I'm gonna miss you, spit brother.
Milhouse: Oh no, he's hurt.
Lewis: Bad!
Milhouse: Let's get out of here!
Nelson [about the school's ancient computer]: My stroked out grandfather has more memory tha that thing
Milhouse: How's he doing?
Nelson: Better, thanks
