Miranda Hobbes Quotes
Carrie: I want everyone to get out of this without anyone getting hurt.
Miranda: Well, that's realistic.
Carrie: Why not? You've heard those stories about affairs where people realise how great their other relationship is and end it without anyone being the wiser?
Miranda: I don't watch Lifetime television for Women.
Charlotte: Who knew all this existed in the meat packing district?
Miranda: Yes, just yards away from dumpsters full of decaying cow.
Samantha: Ladies, let's just say it, we have it all, great apartments, great jobs, great friends, great sex....
Miranda: We can have our baby quiche and eat it too.
Samantha: Exactly, at my age, my mother would settle with three kids and a drunk husband.
Carrie: You just have three drunk friends.
Samantha: By choice.
Samantha: Homemade quiche?
Charlotte: You made these?
Samantha: Oh, hell no! I had them delivered, along with dinner, the wine and a dvd of Affair to Remember, which were watching later, drunk.
Miranda: You can get dvd's delivered?
Samantha: I use this hot new delivery service. You call them, anything you want, they bring it within an hour.
Charlotte: Anything?
Samantha: Um, last night I ordered condoms.
Miranda: Please, tell me you didn't fuck the delivery guy?
Samantha: No, John, the hot guy from the gym. And let me just say, the condoms came a lot faster than he did.
Carrie: Now there's a nice slogan.
Miranda: Um!
Charlotte: What?
Miranda: This is a little unusual, he has you on a vesting schedule. For every five years that you're married you get a percentage of five hundred thousand dollars.
Charlotte: I'm only worth five hundred thousand dollars?
Miranda: Over thirty years.
Carrie: Well, maybe that's their wholesale price?
Miranda: And, if you have any boys, you'll get another hundred grand free and clear.
Carrie: How much for girls?
Miranda: Nada!
Carrie: Well, that's just bad buisness.
Miranda: Fifty percent of marriages end in divorce.
Charlotte: See, there's it is again, divorce.
Mirnada: I'm sure you'll live happily ever after. But, I gotta tell ya, I wouldn't get married without one of these to protect myself.
Carrie: See, I'm safe, what's he gonna take from me, shoes? (thinks) Wait a minute, maybe I do need one.
Miranda: I can't believe I'm going to say this, but it feels wierd without her here.
Samantha: That's such a Charlotte thing to say.
Miranda: Well, this all looks pretty normal.
Charlotte: Normal? We haven't even gotten married yet, and we're already talking about divorce.
Carrie: Sweetie, a lot of people do pre-nups these days.
Charlotte: Marriage is supposed to be about love and happiness....
Miranda: And the merging and protecting of assets.
Charlotte: That is so unromantic.
Miranda: And necessary.
Samantha: I can't believe she's marrying that guy?
Miranda: For about a tenth of what's she's worth.
Carrie: Hey, I thought you were Ms pro-marriage these days?
Samantha: Honey, I wasdelirious , I also saw plaid spots all over my bathtub.
Miranda: It's like Martha Stewart exploded in here.
Carrie: Hey, look, headbands are back in style.
Samantha: I'm starving where's the food?
Miranda: Their wasps, there's never any food, only booze.
Samantha: Fine! Martini, six olives.
Charlotte: I did it. I negotiated with Bunny and I signed the pre-nup.
(Samantha and Miranda hold their breath)
Carrie: That's great sweetie.
Charlotte: I'm getting married.
Carrie, Samantha, Miranda: Congratulations.
Charlotte: You guys made it.
Carrie, Miranda, Samantha: hey!
Trey: Ladies, I see you've found the bar.
Miranda: We're good that way.
