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Modern-family

Mitchell: Just the emerald city at the end of my yellow brick road
Cameron: Wow you did it
Mitchell: What?
Cameron: You made figure skating sound even gayer.

We were called "Fire and Nice." I was "Fire" because of the red hair and Claire was "Nice" because it was ironic and she wasn't.

Mitchell: You always take this a little too far. Your nephew's first birthday.
Cameron: That's not fair.
Mitchell: You brought a wind machine.
Cameron: Who puts wheels on cribs?

I am loose. I'm fun. Remember breakfast for dinner last week? My idea

Cameron: I got MooGoo bear from the freezer
Mitchell: Why do you have chocolate on your face?
Cameron: It was under a chocolate pie
Mitchell: So you ate your way through it?
Cameron: I made a judgment call, you weren't there

Mitchell: I don't like football.
Cameron: You know what? I thought part of being in a relationship was pretending to enjoy your partner's interests. Do you think I really loved home pickle making?
Mitchell: Yeah, 'cause you did.
Cameron: For a week, until we became the weird guys who gave everybody pickles. "Oh thank you, Marvin, for inviting us into your lovely home. Here, would you care for sacks pickles?"
Mitchell: It was charming.
Cameron: We were picklers, Mitchell. Okay, you know what, fine. Stay home with your little, jagged scissors. Maybe catch up on your scrap-booking.
Mitchell: Uh, come-you love scrap-booking.
Cameron: Did I Mitchell? Did I? [Leaves room]
Mitchell: No, stop. Don't do the double question to prove a point thing. I hate it when people do that.
Cameron [holds Lily outside the door]: Do you Mitchell? Do you?
Mitchell: Stop Lily

Jay: What's up!
Mitchell: Uh, well you know, uh, moms in town.
Jay: Your mom?
Mitchell: No, no your mom. She's back from the grave. Yes, yes my mom, dad.
Jay: My mom would be less scary

Cameron: Who was that?
Mitchell: My mom
Cameron: Yeah right, cause the last time she was here the magnets are the refrigerator arranged themselves into a penta... hi grandma!

Cameron: Mitchell is a snob.
Mitchell: No, n-no, I'm discerning.
Cameron: Official slogan for snobs. When we first met he wouldn't even look at me because I was a hick from the farm in Missouri and he's a big city mouse.
Mitchell: Who says city mouse?
Cameron: Country mice

Mitchell: my name is Mitchell and I'm a lawyer
Cameron [trying to sound straight]: My name is Cameron and I am currently not working, which gives me more time to grill and shoot baskets

Mitchell: Ahhh we have been together for, guh, five-- five years now? And uh we-- we just decided that we really wanted to have a baby. So we initially asked one of our lesbian friends to be a surrogate but--
Cameron: Then we figured, they're already mean enough, can you imagine one of them pregnant?
Mitchell: Don't think so.
Cameron: No thank you, ick!

Displaying quotes 145 - 155 of 155 in total

Modern Family Quotes

Comfort is not everything. My toes have been numb since my Quinceanera.

Gloria

You can’t do this. We’re a danger to ourselves. We’re a family of fire starters, poison eaters, and online prostitutes.

Phil
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