Cam: People always say I scream Hawaii.
Mitchell: Who says that?
Cam: People...
Mitchell: What people?
Cam: ...You don't know them.

Cameron's moment went on for a really, really long time. Turns out I could've run to the party and made it back for the end of his moment.

Cameron: Did you hear that woman screaming my name?
Mitchell: That was Phil. He had a Red Bull.

Jay: What's up with the big sweater at a concert? Some sort of gay thing?
Mitchell: No, it's from this apres-ski party and... yes, it's some sort of gay thing.

I'm going to have to go talk it over with my bull in a china shop.

It's Cameron's turn to be out in the world interacting with other grown-ups while I get to stay at home and plot the death of Dora the Explorer.

Cameron: I was nervous. There was a lot of different food on the menu, and on the floor and on the wall.
Mitchell: Are we sure we're not exaggerating just a little bit?
Cameron: Were you there, Mitchell? Because I think I would have recognized the only other white or gay person.

Cameron [about him and Gloria]: On paper we should be good friends, one spicy curvy diva.
Mitchell: And Gloria.

Mitchell: I never went to sports games with him.
Cameron: Probably because you call them sports games. Lose the sports.

Mitchell: Tonight is the maginificent Lyrid meteor shower.
Cameron: It's where the planet geek passes through the nerdy way.

He's the suckiest suck of all time.

If my daughter can stand up then so can I.

Modern Family Quotes

By the way, do not look up peeing games on the internet.


I'll admit it. I'm turned on by powerful women.
Michelle Obama, Oprah, Condoleezza Rice, Serena Williams… Wait a minute.

Phil Dunphy