Cameron's moment went on for a really, really long time. Turns out I could've run to the party and made it back for the end of his moment.

Cameron: Did you hear that woman screaming my name?
Mitchell: That was Phil. He had a Red Bull.

Jay: What's up with the big sweater at a concert? Some sort of gay thing?
Mitchell: No, it's from this apres-ski party and... yes, it's some sort of gay thing.

I'm going to have to go talk it over with my bull in a china shop.

It's Cameron's turn to be out in the world interacting with other grown-ups while I get to stay at home and plot the death of Dora the Explorer.

Cameron: I was nervous. There was a lot of different food on the menu, and on the floor and on the wall.
Mitchell: Are we sure we're not exaggerating just a little bit?
Cameron: Were you there, Mitchell? Because I think I would have recognized the only other white or gay person.

Cameron [about him and Gloria]: On paper we should be good friends, one spicy curvy diva.
Mitchell: And Gloria.

Mitchell: I never went to sports games with him.
Cameron: Probably because you call them sports games. Lose the sports.

Mitchell: Tonight is the maginificent Lyrid meteor shower.
Cameron: It's where the planet geek passes through the nerdy way.

He's the suckiest suck of all time.

If my daughter can stand up then so can I.

I am going to do what I am trained to do. I am going to lie, grovel, debase myself until I get what I want. I am a lawyer, damn it.

Modern Family Quotes

That was hardly porn. It was a topless woman on a tractor. You know what they call that in Europe? A cereal commercial.

Phil

By the way, do not look up peeing games on the internet.

Jay