Modern Family

Wednesdays 9:00 PM on ABC
Modern family
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Jay: What's up with the big sweater at a concert? Some sort of gay thing?
Mitchell: No, it's from this apres-ski party and... yes, it's some sort of gay thing.

I'm going to have to go talk it over with my bull in a china shop.

It's Cameron's turn to be out in the world interacting with other grown-ups while I get to stay at home and plot the death of Dora the Explorer.

Cameron: I was nervous. There was a lot of different food on the menu, and on the floor and on the wall.
Mitchell: Are we sure we're not exaggerating just a little bit?
Cameron: Were you there, Mitchell? Because I think I would have recognized the only other white or gay person.

Cameron [about him and Gloria]: On paper we should be good friends, one spicy curvy diva.
Mitchell: And Gloria.

Mitchell: I never went to sports games with him.
Cameron: Probably because you call them sports games. Lose the sports.

Mitchell: Tonight is the maginificent Lyrid meteor shower.
Cameron: It's where the planet geek passes through the nerdy way.

He's the suckiest suck of all time.

If my daughter can stand up then so can I.

I am going to do what I am trained to do. I am going to lie, grovel, debase myself until I get what I want. I am a lawyer, damn it.

Her first word was every gay father's worst nightmare.

Mitchell: Subtext: this is weird.
Cameron: I didn't hear any subtext.
Mitchell: Hear any now?

Displaying quotes 121 - 132 of 159 in total
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