Homer: Isn't that sweet, six years ago they were fighting, now they're playing pool in a bar.
Moe: Father of the year, pal, father of the year.

Moe: Do you mind riding a cute little scooter with your arms around my waist?
Princess Kemi: I don't!
Moe: To the scooter store!

Homer: She's gone!
Moe: And she trashed my bar! Oh no, wait, she actually cleaned up a little bit. Good for her.

You guys cost me my chance with a woman of a certain age!

You call that a left testicle, Toot?

These eye clamps are the only way I can tolerate today's tv.

Moe: Read 'em and weep. The novels of Charlotte Bronte.
Carl: I thought we were playing cards.

Yeah, I always go with three, the number of brothers and sisters I, uh, Hunger Gamed in the womb.

There's sexy bald like..uh...Babar, king of the elephants. I read his books as a kid. He married his cousin Celeste. That was my takeaway.

Bring out your beds. Bring out your beds.

Well, Homer's gone. Let's all go into our suspended state til he gets back.

Hey, don't you badmouth this country. Compared to the rest of the third-world, we're doing great.

The Simpsons Quotes

Homer: (Wearing glasses) The sum of the square roots of any two sides of an isosceles triangle is equal to the square root of the remaining side!
Man: (From inside a bathroom stall.) That's a right triangle, you idiot!
Homer: D'oh!

Wow, now I see why they call you Miss Hoover. You must have been vacuuming for an hour.

Bart