The Simpsons

Sundays 8:00 PM on FOX
The simpsons
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You call that a left testicle, Toot?

These eye clamps are the only way I can tolerate today's tv.

Moe: Read 'em and weep. The novels of Charlotte Bronte.
Carl: I thought we were playing cards.

Yeah, I always go with three, the number of brothers and sisters I, uh, Hunger Gamed in the womb.

There's sexy bald like..uh...Babar, king of the elephants. I read his books as a kid. He married his cousin Celeste. That was my takeaway.

Bring out your beds. Bring out your beds.

Well, Homer's gone. Let's all go into our suspended state til he gets back.

Hey, don't you badmouth this country. Compared to the rest of the third-world, we're doing great.

Man, soccer's even boring for the ball.

If the late great Nora Ephron taught us anything,it's that - oh, what's my other inflatable doll doing here?!?

Gaga: Never forget, you're all my little monsters.
Moe: Actually, I'm half monster, half Armenian. Pick your poison.

Moe: And that's that. Another story in the classic infallible three-act structure. Good enough for Aristotle, good enough for The Simpsons.
Lisa: Mr. Szyslak I have feeling there's going to be one more act to this story.
Moe: Well I'm not hanging around for that. Pfftt. Four acts.

Displaying quotes 1 - 12 of 128 in total

The Simpsons Quotes

Wow, now I see why they call you Miss Hoover. You must have been vacuuming for an hour.

Bart

Homer: (Wearing glasses) The sum of the square roots of any two sides of an isosceles triangle is equal to the square root of the remaining side!
Man: (From inside a bathroom stall.) That's a right triangle, you idiot!
Homer: D'oh!