Moe: Do you mind riding a cute little scooter with your arms around my waist?
Princess Kemi: I don't!
Moe: To the scooter store!

Homer: She's gone!
Moe: And she trashed my bar! Oh no, wait, she actually cleaned up a little bit. Good for her.

You guys cost me my chance with a woman of a certain age!

You call that a left testicle, Toot?

These eye clamps are the only way I can tolerate today's tv.

Moe: Read 'em and weep. The novels of Charlotte Bronte.
Carl: I thought we were playing cards.

Yeah, I always go with three, the number of brothers and sisters I, uh, Hunger Gamed in the womb.

There's sexy bald like..uh...Babar, king of the elephants. I read his books as a kid. He married his cousin Celeste. That was my takeaway.

Bring out your beds. Bring out your beds.

Well, Homer's gone. Let's all go into our suspended state til he gets back.

Hey, don't you badmouth this country. Compared to the rest of the third-world, we're doing great.

Man, soccer's even boring for the ball.

The Simpsons Quotes

Officer Eddie: (reading Steve Sax's license) Well well, Steve Sax, from New York City.
Officer Lou: I heard some guy got killed in New York City and they never solved the case. But you wouldn't know anything about that now, would you, Steve?
(Lou and Eddie laugh)
Steve Sax: But there are hundreds of unsolved murders in New York City.
Officer Lou: You don't know when to keep your mouth shut, do you, Saxxy Boy?

Wow, now I see why they call you Miss Hoover. You must have been vacuuming for an hour.

Bart