Moe Szyslak Quotes
Season 23, Episode 22: "Lisa Goes Gaga"
Gaga: Never forget, you're all my little monsters.
Moe: Actually, I'm half monster, half Armenian. Pick your poison.
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0
Season 23, Episode 21: "Ned 'N' Edna's Blend"
Moe: And that's that. Another story in the classic infallible three-act structure. Good enough for Aristotle, good enough for The Simpsons.
Lisa: Mr. Szyslak I have feeling there's going to be one more act to this story.
Moe: Well I'm not hanging around for that. Pfftt. Four acts.
• Rating: Unrated
Season 23, Episode 20: "The Spy Who Learned Me"
Homer: And now because it's after noon, I can go to Moe's without having a "drinking problem."
Moe: Hey Homer, I could hear your pathetic rationalizing through the door.
• Rating: Unrated
Season 23, Episode 1: "The Falcon and the D'Ohman"
Moe: Wow, that's the farthest one of my egg ever made it down someone's throat.
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0
Moe: My fresco! That's coming out of your stealings!
• Rating: 4.0 / 5.0
Season 22, Episode 13: "The Blue and the Gray"
Moe: I'm Moe Szyslak. Growing up, I had roundworm. Heck I was more worm than man some months. I dabbled in satanism until I was asked to leave. Oh and one month I ate nothing by aquarium fish.
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0
Season 22, Episode 11: "Flaming Moe"
Moe: Not bad. Like Frisbee Golf, I'm glad I tried it once.
• Rating: 1.0 / 5.0
Moe: I'd have to move in with mom, who's dead and doesn't have a house.
• Rating: 3.0 / 5.0
Smithers: Can I have a scotch and water?
Moe: My scotch is a scotch and water.
• Rating: 3.0 / 5.0
Season 22, Episode 10: "Moms I'd Like To Forget"
Moe: That wasn't the Wi-Fi - that was my Bell's Palsy acting up.
• Rating: 4.5 / 5.0
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Total Quotes: 118









