Moe Szyslak Quotes
Homer: Moe, can we talk?
Moe: Are you crazy? It's 500 degrees in here! (Checks thermometer) Oh no wait, it's only 495. What's on your mind?
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Homer: Moe, I can save you if you let go of the grandfather clock.
Moe: But it's been in my family for over 40 seconds!
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(bowing to Homer) King of thieves, we worship you!Apu and Moe
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(Moe's character, a troll, appears)
Moe: I'm Moe. I'm playing this while I'm on the can.
Marge: Wow, Moe. You're a troll.
Moe: What? No. My character's suppose to look like me. (Angrily) Why does everyone keep thinking I'm a troll? (He storms off under a bridge, stomps around and mutters angrily)
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(After Bart brought Marge's character back to life)
Marge: Wait till I tell the other moms you gave two-thirds of your life force to save me. What a good boy.
(An angry mob busts in)
Moe: He's weak!
Comic Book Guy: Slay him and take his experience points!
Bart: Wait, stop. If you kill me, I'll egg your houses in real life!
Mrs. Krabapel: It's still worth it!
(She stabs Bart in the eye)
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Why am I payin' $14.95 a month for this?</i> Moe
- Permalink: Why am I payin' $14.95 a month for this?
Lenny: Homer, don't be so quick to abandon this paparazzo thing.
Carl: Yeah, it's the American tradition to cut people down to size because they're brought so much joy into our lives.
Lenny: You know who I can't stand? That Robin Williams. You know one time I saw him eating dinner with his children. He wouldn't take the time out to do all the funny bits from his movies.
Carl: And my sister once saw Burt Reynolds at an airport, and he wouldn't even cosign her mortgage.
Homer: You guys are right! I should get back into the game. (Moaning) Oh, but I threw away my camera!
Moe: Oh, here. (Hands Homer his camera) Use this one. I was gonna use it to take secret photos in the ladies' toilet, but no dames ever come in this joint.
Homer: Thanks, Moe. (Leaves the bar)
(Two pretty women enter)
Woman #1: Excuse me, do you have a ladies' room?
Woman #2: We need to trade bras and panties.
Moe: Oh! You gotta be kidding me! (Breaks a beer bottle horizontally with his hands.)
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My dad was a circus freak but my mom don't remember which one. I like to think it was a little bit of all of them.
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I hate this Homer jerk with his beautiful wife and loving family, when all I got is this doorway.
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Carl: Hey can you fix the sound?
Lenny: And the color?
Moe: And show it in a regular theatre?
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Wow, even I ain't hopin' for porn.</i> Moe
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Carl: What's wrong Moe?
Moe: I just got this strange feeling Homer's in trouble.
Lenny: That's weird I just got this strange feeling some guy I don't know named Fausto is in trouble.
Moe: Come on we got to save Homer!
Lenny: And Fausto!
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Homer: (Wearing glasses) The sum of the square roots of any two sides of an isosceles triangle is equal to the square root of the remaining side!
Man: (From inside a bathroom stall.) That's a right triangle, you idiot!
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Homer: Aw, twenty dollars? I wanted a peanut!
Homer's Brain: Twenty dollars can buy many peanuts.
Homer: Explain how!
Homer's Brain: Money can be exchanged for goods and services.
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