Mr. Burns Quotes
Season 23, Episode 7: "The Man in the Blue Flannel Pants"
Mr. Burns: Take us out first. Anyone can start a family. These days no one can find a job.
• Rating: Unrated
Season 22, Episode 11: "Flaming Moe"
Smithers: They're fighting like Iran and Iraq!
Mr. Burns: What?
Smithers: Persia and Mesopotamia.
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0
Season 22, Episode 6: "The Fool Monty"
Smithers: I'm so happy I could hug you.
Mr. Burns: And have me smell like cheap drug store cologne the rest of the day? You may hug my shadow.
• Rating: Unrated
Mr. Burns: I want to die quietly on my own term crushing as many of those baby sea turtles as I possibly can.
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0
Mr. Burns: I'll have 37 snifters of your influenza syrup. One for me, one for Smithers, and the rest for my hounds.
• Rating: 1.0 / 5.0
Season 21, Episode 17: "American History X-Cellent"
Mr. Burns: And that's where we came in. Now, without further ado, here's what happened next. But first, I'll daydream about a sport utility vehicle, a crispy chicken sandwich, and a wonderful blue pill!
• Rating: Unrated
Guard: It's time for a cavity search.
Mr. Burns: Oh, I haven't cavity in forty years.
Guard: I wasn't talking about your teeth.
Mr. Burns: Nor was I.
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0
Mr. Burns: Is it a crime to want nice things and then to steal them from a public museum where any gum-chewing monkey in a Tufts University jacket can gawk at them? I think not.
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0
Carl: Sir, your spare ribs, cooked just the way you like them.
Mr. Burns: Spare ribs eh? I've played around with ten pins a time or two in my life and, to me, the term spare reeks of second best. Give me ten full frames of strike ribs. [to Lenny]: And you, find my doctor and find out why I'd ask for something as insane as strike ribs.
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0
Mr. Burns: The power plant's new annual Fourth of July picnic is this upcoming Saturday.
Homer: Woohoo!
Mr. Burns: I'm afraid you misunderstand. This picnic is for me, you will all be spending your Independence Day slaving away in the hot summer sun with no pay, lotion, or gratitude.
• Rating: 4.0 / 5.0
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Total Quotes: 168
