Mr. Burns Quotes (Page 3)
Season 19, Episode 20: "All About Lisa"
(At an auction for a "Kissing Lincolns Penny")
Homer: Five dollars!
Mr. Burns: Five hundred.
Homer: Five dollars, cash.
Host: Sir, the promise of cash is not an endorsement. The current bid is $500. Going once, going twice--
Bart: Dad!
Homer: Five hundred-one!
Mr. Burns: Ten million.
Homer: Objection, Your Honor!
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0
Season 19, Episode 5: "Treehouse of Horror XVIII"
(In "Mr. & Mrs. Simpson" Homer is talking to Mr. Burns via satellite.)
Mr. Burns: Greetings, 241.
Homer: Why does he always bring up my weight?
• Rating: Unrated
Season 19, Episode 2: "Homer of Seville"
Mr. Burns: My boy, you are a star.
Homer: Woo-hoo!
Mr. Burns: An opera star.
Homer: (Disappointed) Oh.
• Rating: Unrated
(Mr. Burns and Smithers visit the morgue.)
Mr. Burns: Ah, nothing lifts my spirits like shopping. Let's see, (Points) I'll take his liver, a case of Adam's apples, (Points) that motorcycle man's mustache.
Smithers: Oh, the money you've contributed to anti-helmet laws has really paid off, sir.
Mr. Burns: Well, young people are my future.
• Rating: Unrated
Season 19, Episode 1: "He Loves to Fly and He D'ohs"
(Smithers helps Mr. Burns shop for a cell phone.)
Smithers: What happened to that mini-cell phone I gave you, sir?
Mr. Burns: Ooh, I thought that was a lemon drop.
(Mr. Burns stomach suddenly vibrates.)
Smithers: I'll go get the number de-listed.
• Rating: Unrated
Mr. Burns: (to Homer) Now let's enjoy the Miami of Canada -- Chicago!
• Rating: Unrated
(Mr. Burns thinks to himself just before drowning.)
Mr. Burns: I guess this is the end. I just wish I'd spent more time at the office.
• Rating: Unrated
Mr. Burns: You saved my life! There must be something I can do for you.
Homer: (Thinks) A cookie! No, a car! No, a cookie!
Mr. Burns: You're getting a free dinner.
(Homer gasps)
Mr. Burns: With...
Homer: Yeah?
Mr. Burns: ...Me!
Homer: Me? But that's you!
• Rating: Unrated
(Homer meets Mr. Burns' flight attendant.)
Svetlana: My name is Svetlana, but you can call me "Hey, baby."
Mr. Burns: And just so you know, she'll do anything for you. Anything except sex. And I do mean anything.
Homer: (Drooling) Ohh, I'm aroused... and confused.
• Rating: Unrated
(Mr. Burns takes Homer out for dinner.)
Mr. Burns: So, Simpson, I hear you like pizza pie.
Homer: I do! My favorite is Chicago deep-dish.
Mr. Burns: Chicago, eh? Well, what if I took us there now?
Homer: Drive to Chicago? I don't have time for that. I have to be back at work by Monday and my boss is a total jerk.
• Rating: Unrated
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Total Quotes: 171
