(Homer meets Mr. Burns' flight attendant.)
Svetlana: My name is Svetlana, but you can call me "Hey, baby."
Mr. Burns: And just so you know, she'll do anything for you. Anything except sex. And I do mean anything.
Homer: (Drooling) Ohh, I'm aroused... and confused.

Well well, if it isn't the Tardy Boys and Nancy Clueless!

Smithers: I'm so happy I could hug you.
Mr. Burns: And have me smell like cheap drug store cologne the rest of the day? You may hug my shadow.

I want to die quietly on my own term crushing as many of those baby sea turtles as I possibly can.

I'll have 37 snifters of your influenza syrup. One for me, one for Smithers, and the rest for my hounds.

Kill his acorns and make him watch.

Mr. Burns

Mr. Burns: Why, it's Fred Flintstone and his lovely wife, Wilma! Oh, and this must be little Pebbles! Mind if I come in? I brought chocolates.
Homer: Yabba-dabba-doo!

My darling, since my kneecaps are filling with fluid as we speak, I'll be brief. Will you marry me?

Mr. Burns: Bravissimo, Luigi! Bring us your finest bottle of vino!
Luigi: Hey, you trust-ah Luigi, huh? He knows-ah what for to make-ah really nice the amore.
Jackie: Oh, Monty, I've never been to a more romantic restaurant.
Luigi: (Entering kitchen) Hey, Salvatore! Break out the cheap hooch for Mr. No-Tip and the dried-up-ah zombie he's-ah captured!

Mrs. Bouvier: I swear, Monty, you are the devil himself.
Mr. Burns: I...Who told you?! ...Oh, ah, yes.

He's the perfect one to suckle at my proverbial teat.

Mr. Burns: Careful, Smithers, that sponge has corners you know.
Smithers: I'll go find a spherical one, sir.

The Simpsons Quotes

Marge: Tomorrow night, it might be nice to go out for dinner.
Homer: Tomorrow night? Friday? Pork chop night? Marge! We haven't missed pork chop night since the great pig scare in '87!

Wow, now I see why they call you Miss Hoover. You must have been vacuuming for an hour.

Bart