You have no standing to veto, it's my sperm.

• Permalink: You have no standing to veto, it's my sperm.
• Rating: Unrated

If I can't have a kid with a woman, then maybe I'll have one with my cousin.

• Permalink: If I can't have a kid with a woman, then maybe I'll have one with my cousin.
• Rating: Unrated

I want magic, is that so bad?

• Permalink: I want magic, is that so bad?
• Rating: Unrated

That's more like dork magic.

• Permalink: That's more like dork magic.
• Rating: Unrated

It's not sex until you put the straw in the coconut.

• Permalink: It's not sex until you put the straw in the coconut.
• Rating: Unrated

I love you like a mother or sister or girlfriend. It's not sexual.

• Permalink: I love you like a mother or sister or girlfriend. It's not sexual.
• Rating: Unrated

Six hundred dollars! That's six hundred one-dollar bills. That's the only way I can imagine it.

• Permalink: Six hundred dollars! That's six hundred one-dollar bills. That's the only way I can imagine it.
• Rating: Unrated

Well get ready for the skin circus you little peanut.

• Permalink: Well get ready for the skin circus you little peanut.
• Rating: Unrated

I knew that French was gonna haunt me.

• Permalink: I knew that French was gonna haunt me.
• Rating: Unrated

I look very handsome! I look like I'm on "Miami Vice"!

• Permalink: I look very handsome! I look like I'm on Miami Vice!
• Rating: Unrated

I'm gonna grab some old underpants and put a pair into the freezer for each of you.

• Permalink: I'm gonna grab some old underpants and put a pair into the freezer for each of you.
• Rating: Unrated

Jess: What's next? What do we do?
Nick: I'm really fighting the urge to buy you a lobster dinner.

• Permalink: What's next? What do we do? I'm really fighting the urge to bu...
• Rating: Unrated