Bernadette: You know, one of the things that helped me get through Howard being in space for so long was getting married before he left.
Penny: Bernadette, sweetie, shut up.

Penny: Oh, I don't know. Remember what happened when I took care of your goldfish?
Leonard: Well, flush Sheldon down the toilet and get me a new one.

Oh, sweetie, if you're gonna screw things up, it's gonna be while you're here, not while you're away.

Penny: On a ship? Aren't they afraid Hawking will just roll overboard?
Leonard: Uh, he's not gonna be there. He's just sending a team to research his theory.
Penny: Oh sure. Like when you send me to kill spiders in your bathtub.

Penny: This isn't alcohol. It's a potion that makes me like you.
Leonard: Double potion, please.

Oh, it's not so bad. You lost money, you're filled with shame, and you got groped by a stranger. That's Vegas. You nailed it.

Penny: Vegas here we come.
Bernadette: No husbands. No boyfriends. No rules
Amy: No rules. We're not going to get drunk and have a six-way with the Blue Man Group, are we?
Penny: No.
Amy: So there are some rules.
Bernadette: Okay. No husbands. No boyfriends. Some rules.
Amy: Thank you. VEGAS!

Professor Proton: I'm having trouble with my pacemaker.
Leonard: I'll call for help.
Penny: Any chance we could plug it into the potato?
Professor Proton: No.

Penny: If you don't mind me asking, uh, the potato clock -- how does it work? Is it a trick clock or a trick potato?
Professor Proton [to Leonard]: What do you two talk about?

Professor Proton: I power a clock with a potato.
Penny: Shut up! You can do that? I mean ... wouldn't that solve the world's energy crisis?
Professor Proton: No.

Leonard: It was pretty cool.
Penny: Aw, so cute when you use the word "cool" wrong. Like when kids say "pasghetti."

Leonard: You realize you might kill some of them.
Penny: Oh, then you all can get tenure.

TBBT Quotes

Amy, I excel at many things, but getting over you wasn't one of them.


(Singing) Thor and Dr Jones, Thor and Dr. Jones. One plays with lightening, the other plays with bones.

Howard and Raj