Bernadette: Well, what if Hulk picked up Thor while Thor is holding the hammer.
Amy: Yeah?
Bernadette: Then by the transitive property of picking things up Hulk picked up the hammer.
Amy: No. Hulk picked up Thor. Thor picked up the hammer.
Penny: Okay, hang on. If I go to a bar and pick up a guy and he picks up a girl and then we all leave together. Did I pick up the girl?
Amy: Did that ever happen?
Penny: Hey, are we talking about me or are we talking about Thor?

Penny: If Harry Potter's wand can make decisions, why can't Thor's hammer?
Amy: Ok, if you're going to start comparing wands and hammers, I can't even take you seriously.

Penny: Oh, Thor. He's hot.
Stuart: Yeah, he kind of is.

Oh, this is the best. You have booze with breakfast on a Tuesday, you have a problem. You do it on the weekend, you have brunch.

Penny: Damn. You have more make-up than I do. You've got better make-up than I do. Yep, I'm borrowing ing this.
Leonard: Hey, hey, hey. This is my comic con make-up. I love you, but there are some things a man doesn't share with his girlfriend.

Penny: Molecules.
Leonard: Okay. come with me.
Penny: Where are we going?
Leonard: To my bedroom. So, I can take everything off but those glasses. And, maybe the boots.

Leonard: Can I tell you a secret?
Penny: What's that?
Leonard: All these women chasing me, I kinda do feel like Captain Kirk.
Penny: Can I tell you a secret?
Leonard: Sure.
Penny: Keep talking about Captain Kirk and we're all going to stop.
Leonard: Message ... received.

Penny: Is having a real-life girlfriend that has sex with you getting in the way of your board games.
Leonard: A little bit, yeah.

Penny: You are so butch.
Leonard: Oh, I got a little paper cut.
Penny: Of course you did, your hands are softer than veal.

Raj: You got this buddy.
Leonard: Yeah, come on, Howard. Hook that worm.
Raj: You can do it.
Penny: That's great. Cheerleading. Way to man things up.

Don't name him. Just jam a hook into his face.

Bernadette: Gosh, Amy. I'm sensing a little hostility. Is it maybe because like Sheldon's work, your sex life is also theoretical?
Penny: Damn.
Amy: Well, at least, when we do make love, Sheldon won't be thinking about his mother.

TBBT Quotes

Penny: Here's a question-- as an alien pretending to be human, are you planning to engage in any post-prom mating rituals with Amy?
Sheldon: There are post-prom mating rituals?
Penny: Not always. Unless your date drives a van with an air mattress, then always.
Sheldon: Well, if it's part of the prom experience, then I'm open to it.
Penny: You're kidding.
Sheldon: I may be an alien, but I have urges.If Amy wants to copulate by firing her eggs into space, well, then, I will happily catch them with the reproductive sac on my upper flermin. I'm not the best at reading facial cues, but I can see that you're a little turned on.

Sheldon: Why do you have the Chinese character for "soup" tattooed on your right buttock?
Penny: It's not "soup," it's "courage."
Sheldon: No it isn't. But I suppose it does take courage to demonstrate that kind of commitment to soup.
Penny: How'd you see it? You said you wouldn't look.
Sheldon: Sorry. As I told you, the hero always peeks.