Professor Proton: I'm having trouble with my pacemaker.
Leonard: I'll call for help.
Penny: Any chance we could plug it into the potato?
Professor Proton: No.

Penny: If you don't mind me asking, uh, the potato clock -- how does it work? Is it a trick clock or a trick potato?
Professor Proton [to Leonard]: What do you two talk about?

Professor Proton: I power a clock with a potato.
Penny: Shut up! You can do that? I mean ... wouldn't that solve the world's energy crisis?
Professor Proton: No.

Leonard: It was pretty cool.
Penny: Aw, so cute when you use the word "cool" wrong. Like when kids say "pasghetti."

Leonard: You realize you might kill some of them.
Penny: Oh, then you all can get tenure.

Sheldon: Is there any reason you're keeping this dead goldfish?
Penny: Damn, I forgot to feed him and that I had him.
Sheldon: Well, now, did you also have a dog? Because I found what appears to be a battery-operated chew toy.
Penny: Party's over. Party's over.

Leonard: Mmm, you know, we could throw a dinner party too. Maybe even ask everyone to get dressed up.
Penny: Sure. Just when you say "dressed up" you mean nice clothes, right? Not, like, capes and tights and crap
Leonard: Although...
Penny: No.

Bernadette: Everyone of you has the capacity to be anything you want to be.
Penny: Unless you want to be Cinderella.
Bernadette: Come at me. See what happens.

Penny: Leonard Hofstadler...
Leonard: Yes?
Penny: Will you be my valentine?
Leonard: Sorry. Maybe, next year. ... I'm just kidding. Romance ninja. Let's have sex! Wah!

Leonard: You know what? That was pretty crappy of you. All I wanted to do was to give you a great night and it was like you went out of your way to destroy it.
Penny: Yeah, I know. I'm a total bitch.
Leonard: I'm not saying that.
Penny: Well, I am.
Leonard: Oh, fine you win. You're a bitch.

Leonard: Two can play this game.
Penny: Get up.

Penny: No, I said "Oh my God, I think that old guy's choking" and one of the busboy's Heimlich'd him.
Leonard: You're a hero...
Penny: Yeah ... that was the point of the story.

TBBT Quotes

I just gave you my virginity, woman. Cool your jets!

Sheldon

(Singing) Thor and Dr Jones, Thor and Dr. Jones. One plays with lightening, the other plays with bones.

Howard and Raj