Sheldon: Is there any reason you're keeping this dead goldfish?
Penny: Damn, I forgot to feed him and that I had him.
Sheldon: Well, now, did you also have a dog? Because I found what appears to be a battery-operated chew toy.
Penny: Party's over. Party's over.

Leonard: Mmm, you know, we could throw a dinner party too. Maybe even ask everyone to get dressed up.
Penny: Sure. Just when you say "dressed up" you mean nice clothes, right? Not, like, capes and tights and crap
Leonard: Although...
Penny: No.

Bernadette: Everyone of you has the capacity to be anything you want to be.
Penny: Unless you want to be Cinderella.
Bernadette: Come at me. See what happens.

Penny: Leonard Hofstadler...
Leonard: Yes?
Penny: Will you be my valentine?
Leonard: Sorry. Maybe, next year. ... I'm just kidding. Romance ninja. Let's have sex! Wah!

Leonard: You know what? That was pretty crappy of you. All I wanted to do was to give you a great night and it was like you went out of your way to destroy it.
Penny: Yeah, I know. I'm a total bitch.
Leonard: I'm not saying that.
Penny: Well, I am.
Leonard: Oh, fine you win. You're a bitch.

Leonard: Two can play this game.
Penny: Get up.

Penny: No, I said "Oh my God, I think that old guy's choking" and one of the busboy's Heimlich'd him.
Leonard: You're a hero...
Penny: Yeah ... that was the point of the story.

Sheldon: I suppose there's no choice but to face the crying, angry accusations, and the high pitch wails of despair.
Penny: Yeah and who knows how Amy will react.

But, you two make such a cute couple. Like Bert and Ernie. You guys even teach me stuff about words and numbers.

Penny: Okay. Hang on. Are you saying some day that you and Amy might actually get physical?
Sheldon: It's a possibility.

You ever going to sleep with Amy?

Bernadette: Well, what if Hulk picked up Thor while Thor is holding the hammer.
Amy: Yeah?
Bernadette: Then by the transitive property of picking things up Hulk picked up the hammer.
Amy: No. Hulk picked up Thor. Thor picked up the hammer.
Penny: Okay, hang on. If I go to a bar and pick up a guy and he picks up a girl and then we all leave together. Did I pick up the girl?
Amy: Did that ever happen?
Penny: Hey, are we talking about me or are we talking about Thor?

TBBT Quotes

Amy, I excel at many things, but getting over you wasn't one of them.


(Singing) Thor and Dr Jones, Thor and Dr. Jones. One plays with lightening, the other plays with bones.

Howard and Raj