Today's the day a girl's finally going to touch you in your little special place.

You know, for the first couple of months, whenever I would take off my bra, he would giggle and say 'oh, boy, my breast friends!'

Penny [referring to Leonard]

He was robbed of a bunch of imaginary crap that's useful in a make-believe place.

Penny [referring to Sheldon]

Penny: Not knowing's part of the fun.
Sheldon: Was that the motto of your community college?

Penny: Today I drove to Van Nuys for an audition that I thought was for a cat food commercial. Turned out to be porn.
Sheldon: Did you get the part?

Penny: Ooh I thought I smelled pizza.
Sheldon: That's remarkable. If pepperoni were an explosive substance, you could replace German Shepherds at our nation's airports.

Sheldon: She stiffed you?
Penny: I believe that's what he did to her.

Good morning, slut.

Mrs. Cooper, hi, it's Penny. I think I broke your son.

Penny: Let's try some improvisation.
Sheldon: Why not? It seems you're improvising your entire curriculum.

Sweetie, let me put this in a way you'll understand. From the waist down, my shields are up.

You know, for a smart guy you really seem to have a hard time grasping the concept don't piss off the people who handle the things you eat.

TBBT Quotes

Amy, I excel at many things, but getting over you wasn't one of them.


(Singing) Thor and Dr Jones, Thor and Dr. Jones. One plays with lightening, the other plays with bones.

Howard and Raj