The Big Bang Theory

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The big bang theory
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You know, for the first couple of months, whenever I would take off my bra, he would giggle and say 'oh, boy, my breast friends!'

Penny [referring to Leonard]

He was robbed of a bunch of imaginary crap that's useful in a make-believe place.

Penny [referring to Sheldon]

Penny: Not knowing's part of the fun.
Sheldon: Was that the motto of your community college?

Penny: Today I drove to Van Nuys for an audition that I thought was for a cat food commercial. Turned out to be porn.
Sheldon: Did you get the part?

Penny: Ooh I thought I smelled pizza.
Sheldon: That's remarkable. If pepperoni were an explosive substance, you could replace German Shepherds at our nation's airports.

Sheldon: She stiffed you?
Penny: I believe that's what he did to her.

Good morning, slut.

Mrs. Cooper, hi, it's Penny. I think I broke your son.

Penny: Let's try some improvisation.
Sheldon: Why not? It seems you're improvising your entire curriculum.

Sweetie, let me put this in a way you'll understand. From the waist down, my shields are up.

You know, for a smart guy you really seem to have a hard time grasping the concept don't piss off the people who handle the things you eat.

Ok, so the same with extra spit on Sheldon's hamburger.

Displaying quotes 217 - 228 of 362 in total

TBBT Quotes

Penny: Here's a question-- as an alien pretending to be human, are you planning to engage in any post-prom mating rituals with Amy?
Sheldon: There are post-prom mating rituals?
Penny: Not always. Unless your date drives a van with an air mattress, then always.
Sheldon: Well, if it's part of the prom experience, then I'm open to it.
Penny: You're kidding.
Sheldon: I may be an alien, but I have urges.If Amy wants to copulate by firing her eggs into space, well, then, I will happily catch them with the reproductive sac on my upper flermin. I'm not the best at reading facial cues, but I can see that you're a little turned on.

Sheldon: Ugh! English pudding. Y-You get yourself all excited for pudding, and here comes a cake with raisins in it. I'm not going.
Amy: You're going.
Sheldon: Why do you hate me?
Amy: I don't hate you. I love you.
Sheldon: Well, you call it love, but it has a lot of raisins in it.