Perry Cox Quotes
Elliot: What opportunity?
Doug: No, shush, shush.
J.D.: Shut up! You see, in baseball, when a pitcher's really hot - no one talks to him, no one looks at him, you just stay out of his way!
Elliot: Why are you talking about baseball?
Dr. Cox: Because you should never jinx a pitcher when he has a chance to throw a perfect game! My GOD, Barbie, how do you put your bra and panties on in the morning?! All by yourself! It's remarkable!
J.D.: See, 'cause he's the pitcher-
Elliot: Yeah, I get it now!
Dr. Cox: You know what they say about your first instincts.
Elliot: Yeah: You should always stick with them. Shouldn't you?
Dr. Cox: Should you?
Elliot: Should I?
Dr. Cox: "Should I?" You'll have plenty of time to think about it on the bench, because that's where you're headed
J.D.: Did you go see baby Charlie yet?
Dr. Cox:: No, I was actually just planning on doing that - never.
J.D.: You're such a special friend.
Dr. Cox: Oh gosh Margery, aren't you sassy today. Did Santa finally bring you that Y-chromosome you always wanted.
J.D.: What's your problem anyway?
Dr. Cox: For starters I hate Christmas
Dr. Cox: Newbie, I always punch the tabs out of my tapes so there's no possible way they can be recorded over, so pa-lease tell you didn't use the tape that was already in the camera.
J.D.: Banana hammock.
Dr. Cox: So another words, there is no permanent historical record of the birth of my friend's baby?
J.D.: Well, you know, I think that the baby itself would serve as proof that, you know, born.
Dr. Cox: You don't understand what you've done. My ex-wife is probably going to hold this over my head so long that I doubt I'll ever see the sun again, and I liked the sun newbie. It make me hopeful.
J.D.: Well I was there so, you know, I could certainly jot down some of my feelings and impressions
J.D.'s narration: Oh, God, his ex-wife. The tension actually hurts. You have to break it; say something, anything!
J.D.: Banana hammock!
Dr. Cox: I'm betting your ability to thrive under pressure is what drove you to medicine
Dr. Cox: So baby Charlie is the bald one?
Jordan: Yeah. He wouldn't be smiling so much if he knew how ugly his parents were.
Dr. Cox: You're a sexy bitch.
Jordan: Thanks
Dr. Cox: Newbie, stay! Ohh, what a good boy you are... Dear God, Judy, how much product do ya use?
J.D.: None! It's like this when I wake up.
Dr. Cox: Yeah. Quick tip, there, sports-star - when you're defensive about your feminine side, it just makes you seem more girly
Dr. Cox: What is it with friends and the whole wanting to be in your life thing.
J.D.: It's selfish, is what it is
Dr. Cox: I'm assuming, since you already went ahead and took everything else, that you're here for my self respect - but there's bad news on that one, sweet-cheeks: I already gave it to your mom when she begged me to marry ya!
Jordan: Oh, I wouldn't have room for it, anyway, what with your testicles in my trophy case.
Dr. Cox: Okay, think of what little patience I have as, oh I don't know, your virginity. You always thought it would be there until that night Junior year when you were feeling a little down about yourself and your pal Kevin, who just wanted to be friends, well he dropped by. And he brought a copy of "About Last Night" and a four-pack of Bartel's and James and ba-dow hoo-hoo-hoo it was gone forever. Just like my patience is now.
Jill: So you do scary little speeches? That is so adorable!
Elliot: Doctor Cox...
Dr. Cox: And there you are.
Elliot: Excuse me?
Dr. Cox: I was just now wondering if there is anything that could actually push my headache into a full-blown migrane and there you are. What's the story on the adbit in sixty-four?
Elliot: She's great! I really like her!
Dr. Cox: Yeah, let's see if you can't focus on things that I actually give a rat's ass about
Elliot: Why'd you have me paged?
Jill: To ask you to forgive me.
Elliot: For what?
Dr. Cox: Hello, sad clown. Thanks for paging her.
Elliot: How could you?
Jill: He-he called me "Cutie" and then he said something about my eyes... being as blue as the ocean- I... I got confused.
Elliot: Yeah, it probably would've worked on me, too.
Dr. Cox: You're damn right it would've
