Perry Cox Quotes
Dr. Cox: Oh, look Carla back when I was an intern I remember the pressure being so insane that the only way I could get by was to race home and even though my wife was already asleep I'd gently wake her look her in the eyes and then I'd passive-aggressively torture her until she packed a bag and went to her mom's place for a week.
Carla: Oh.
Dr. Cox: Does that help?
Carla: Like a big hug with words
Dr. Cox: Carla? Wow. You look great.
Carla: You're not messing with me, right?
Dr. Cox: No. But I'd like to
Dr. Cox: Listen, I noticed your little boyfriend's name is not on the cast.
Carla: Are you kidding? Making me leave her alone like that.
Dr. Cox: Do you understand that she would have gotten hurt whether you were there or not.
Carla: Nuhn uh.
Dr. Cox: She fell in the shower. So, unless you two have an extremely disturbing relationship, I'm afraid that you're full of crap
Dr. Kelso: Ahh, Doctor Cox... I've been thinking about your predicament and I think I have a solution. Cruise ships.
Dr. Cox: Right.
Dr. Kelso: Think about it, everyone would call you doc, you'd visit exotic ports, heck maybe you'll even get to meet...
Dr. Cox: Listen, you should go ahead and enjoy this while you can Bobby, because if your evil genie actually does grant your wish and I disappear, the only person you'll have left to contend with will be yourself and when you really get to know that person...oh dear God you'll scream so loud that satan will wanna rip up the contract you signed at birth just to get some sleep
Carla: I can't believe she's sleeping.
Dr. Cox: I had the intern give her two valiums.
Carla: Why? Was she in alot of pain?
Dr. Cox: No... she just wouldn't shut up
Ted: As legal counselor, it is my job to inform you that your suspension is effective immediately. Oh, gah! I'm just the messenger! Your long-term job status will be decided at the board meeting. Until then, and I can not bend on this, I don't want you setting foot on the premises.
Dr. Cox: I'm going to be here all day.
Ted: That works for me; that'll be good. I hope that works out...
Dr. Cox: Don't look her in the eyes, newbie; she'll steal your soul. So, how are things going down in the underworld?
Jordan: Good. And you? Still have a rollicking social life?
Dr. Cox: Since I cut you loose, it's been one big party!
Jordan: In the next five seconds, name someplace other than the hospital or your apartment you've been in the last month. Five... Four... Three... Two...
Dr. Cox: My car! On the way to the... big party.
Jordan: Ooh. That must have hurt
Carla: You may scare everybody else with those crazy eyes, but you don't scare me.
Dr. Cox: You use your mom as an excuse to not take chances.
Carla: You're never happy unless you're here.
Dr. Cox: Admit you're afraid to live your own life!
Carla: Admit that losing this place would kill you!
Dr. Cox: We done?
Carla: It's all I got.
Dr. Cox: Crazy eyes? Low blow!
J.D.: Your ex-wife. She's the answer.
Dr. Cox: Uhhh... Things that ruined my life. Things that took half my money. Things with sharp edges?
Dr. Cox: Hello, Jordan.
J.D.'s Narration: Oh, no, no.
Jordan: Perry.
J.D.: "Perry"?
Dr. Cox: You never heard that.
J.D.'s Narration: I never heard that, I'm not here, and I don't have your ex-wife's bite mark on my neck
J.D.: Dr. Cox!
Dr. Cox: Okay, Linus, you're way too excited; I want you to get your blankie, go in a corner, and take a time-out
Dr. Cox: She was never boring.
J.D.: What happened?
Dr. Cox: Eh, you marry somebody just like your mother, and then you remember you hate your mother
