Modern Family
Wednesdays 9:00 PM on ABCFavorite Phil Dunphy Quotes
Cam: You wanna tell me how you accidentally gave someone your key?
Mitchell: You wanna tell me why you spent all day sipping tequila out of some guy's navel?
Cam: You saw that?
Mitchell: I guessed!
Phil: Sounds fun, wear your helmets.
Manny: We will. I'm not writing my first novel by blowing through a tube.
Just a warning, I haven't shampooed professionally since college and that was only part-time to pay for my cheer gear.
You can’t do this. We’re a danger to ourselves. We’re a family of fire starters, poison eaters, and online prostitutes.
Phil [to Manny]: Nice moustache
Jay: Don't make fun of him or he'll burn your house down
If laughter is the best medicine, consider yourself grape flavored Triaminic.
Not since I fell off the roof while they were delivering our trampoline have things come together so beautifully.
Being a realtor man means working on sundays. Like priests and Lesley Stahl.
I'm kind of in a delicate spot stuck between my wife and the guy next door, but I'm pretty sure I can satisfy them both simultaneously.
Claire: You gonna put some blood on that? Maybe dangle an eyeball?
Phil: Who hurt you? I'm kidding, I know it's Jay and Dede.
Claire: Welcome to the insane asylum of from hell!
Phil: That's what it feels like.
Phil: Sometimes a boy might be a good distraction. I remember a certain young lady who was pretty addicted to Miss Pacman until a dashing young gent caught her eye.
Claire: Only because you were wearing a feather earring.
Phil: It wasn't a feather, it was a dreamcatcher. And it worked.
