Favorite Pierce Hawthorne Quotes
Pierce: If you knew what spooked me, you'd probably call me crazy and old.
Jeff: No one's going to call you, Pierce.
Britta: The real reason men fight is to release their pent-up gayness.
Pierce: That guy wasn't gay, he had a mustache.
Anthropology? Why study my ancient ancestors when we can just study the primitive races like Eskimos or Italians.
Pierce: What are you? A North Korean seamstress?
Jeff: Not if that's bad.
You gain levels, and at a certain point you actually CAN eat a ghost.
Britta: So what's the context for constantly calling me as a lesbian?
Pierce: If the wallet chain fits... I'm just trying to help you find yourself.
My brother died on the set of that movie! One of the mechanical spiders just went haywire and tore him to pieces, and Tom Selleck just stood there and watched him die.
Pierce: What's the matter? Mama Chang didn't breast feed?
Chang: "She read in a book that it wouldn't make a difference.
Pierce: Let's have one drink before we work ... to the empowerment of words
Jeff: To the irony of that sentence
Sheesh... I guess it's true what they say about the sync-up.
Pierce: I assume you are familiar with the Greendale bylaws.
Dean Pelton: I am not.
Anything could happen between now and that dance. An asteroid could hit. Do you want to be the schmuck who apologizes right before the world ends?
